Note To Self

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Jrumma

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Alright
Man try to keep your head up
If there's a god he's fed up
Don't listen to the Devil
Go head' and squeeze the metal
Nah, Don't do it
You're not a pussy, prove it
Man you could save so many lives and Do it through your music, shut up
Those demons in your head are just illusions
They cause delusions when you're anxious and it's hard to keep moving
Remember this for the next time that you're starting to lose it
You got more angels than demons and they're guarding you through it
Stop making problems out of nothing 'cause you're used to having problems
Obsess like you're possessed by a ghost of your past traumas
You see the other side like you're trapped in a glass column
That glass is filled with guilt and the pills that you can't swallow
I'm praying that these walls fall over like draw bridges
Listen you are wrong, your intentions ain't all wicked
Caught up in your own desires that you lost vision
Of the reason that you're breathing and the gift that God gives you, so listen
You're not goin' end it with split second decision, huh?
Now get the f*ck up cause we're not finished
You got some friends and family that wanna take on your burdens
They offer helping hands and you feel like you don't deserve it
So you isolate yourself when your heart is hurting
Pull out the pen and pad 'cause you depend on art to cure it
But now you're realizing that music ain't a strong enough drug
And you feel like you've done forgot how to love
So f*ck Jrumma, you should focus more on Joshua Dylan
'Cause you've been plotting to kill him
When you get caught in your feelings
And not to mention taking shots from a bottle venom
Will make those thoughts start to rot in the ceiling
Inside your head when you're lost and conflicted
If you could see your self through someone else's vision
Like even for a couple a minutes
You'd see you're not this fucking monster that you started inventing
This is more than just a hard intervention
You can't depart from your mission
Practice what you preach and start the ignition
I know a part of you's missing
Since your brother took his life in front of y'all in that kitchen
You've been trying to fill a void getting caught up with women
And when you started making noise you made awful decisions
There's a darkness you avoid but it's locked in your mental
You only let it have a voice when you jot with a pencil
Now you have to make a choice, stop or continue
Because the clock is against you
But I'm so proud of you
Every time I doubted you
Pushed you to evolve, turned you into something powerful
"Never walk alone" those words could move mountains
Change who you're around or you can change the hearts around you
Every time you step in those lights
And you scream in that mic it's like
You got leviathans trapped inside your diaphragm
Pouring out your soul has never been a requirement
You could have been an arsonist but chose to be a fireman
Let me keep it honest and respond to myself
I don't wanna face these problems that I bottle myself
Been staying drunk from bottles that come from the bottoms of shelves
And I'm just tired of being bothered by these cards that I'm dealt
So maybe this time around I'll change the way that I play em'
It's time to realize now that I'm the one that needs saving
It's time to finally face the message in the music I'm making
And change the way that I see life instead of letting it change me

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