can't feel

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strixxi

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Another year goes by
And I still have the same questions in mind
Like when?
When will I find
What lies deep within I
Why friends of mine
Now cover their light
Leaving me alone in my own dark abyss
Sharp pains from the knives that loved ones give
Why do I have to still live my life like this
Always looking over my shoulder
Filled with such paranoia
Thinking everything always over
Just cause of my choices
Wishing I can show them
How I fight these voices
Deep in my cerebellum
I hear them tellin'
Me that I'm sinking
I'm falling
I'm grieving
I've lost it!
My demon
Now my conscience
Over thinking
When I am honest
Always fleeing
Whenever I'm wanted
I catch vibes as quick as I lose them
My eyes seem shit that was gruesome
These dreams I get at night were so lucid
Had to cut ties cuz some were translucent
I now realize I am my own enemy
I am preventing me from reaching my own destiny
Why do I get the best of me
Thoughts of mine always testing me
But once I jot what's in mind I bring the best in me
Blessings on blessings
Is what I try to earn
Regretting some friendships
Cuz they just made life worse
Comprehending my depression
Never seems to work
Making amends with these confessions
Before I leave this earth
And venture out to the stars
Maybe I just sound absurd
Or maybe that's my mind trying to tell you how we are
I say we
Cuz it ain't just me
That resides in my M-I-N-D
So many scars that I've gone numb I cant feel
Lately I've been thinking like that love is not real
And I think they lying when they say that time heals
They been trynna eat off my plate but those are my meals
I think I'm losing my mind I don't feel right

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