Calm (Live)

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Amy Azzara

5:45

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Today I arrived and I didn't get out of my car
I sat there staring at nothing and contemplating why
Nothing specific happened
I didn't feel the need to cry
But today I arrived and I didn't get out of my car
It's all the same but it's actually totally different
Because I feel surrounded by people I thought that I knew
The good times feel good, but I've built a wall to protect me from feeling it all
over and over and over and over again
over and over and over and over again
Why do I feel lonely? I am not alone
Why am I the only one who can't seem to let it go?
My thoughts circle 'round and 'round
They are spiraling me out of control
I don't know how to stay calm
My brain doesn't usually slow down or ever stay quiet
I'm either distracted or sleeping or focused on someone else
I am the last one I check on; I don't really know why
My brain doesn't usually slow down or ever stay quiet
Some days are easy and some days I feel like I'm trapped
There's nowhere to go and there's nowhere to hide
and home feels so desperately far away
I think on the outside I seem so intact but occasionally inside I only feel cracked
Some days are easy and some days I feel like I'm trapped
Why do I feel lonely? I am not alone
Why am I the only one who can't seem to let it go?
My thoughts circle 'round and 'round
They are spiraling me out of control
I don't know how to stay calm
Day by day I somehow stay
Breathing in, breathing out, finding calm
I am sometimes lonely; I am not alone
I am learning it's okay to move on by letting go
My thoughts circle 'round and 'round
They will slow down as I grow
I will try to stay calm

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