Alexandria
EETH
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I've walked a long and painful road for being 21 Or maybe that's just everyone And maybe life is hard until you bite the bullet, shoot the gun For all the fathers, sisters, mothers and every son I got 'em all and yet The lonely times keep gettin' lonelier The lies I tell myself keep gettin' phonier And now I do the same shit with my mom It's really only the peaches and cream that I show to her I can hear her voice in my head "Did you eat today" Then in my mind already know what She 'boutta say "Here's what we got in the fridge" Like she didn't tell me yesterday Like my eyes were on sabbatical Like doin' work was radical She tells me she loves me in her own way Like bringing home candy and pumpkin bread And never caring what I said She didn't ask for thank yous When I said 'em they were in my head I have so much to say I'm sorry for So many reasons to put my knees on the floor And pray for forgiveness to a god I don't believe in for sure I'm sorry I wasn't a great teen I'm sorry for all the times that I made you raise your voice when you couldn't scream I'm sorry I made you pay for bad decisions and pipe dreams I'm sorry that I wasn't rich at 18 If I were to do it all again I'd do it differently I wanted to share my peace for so long but hits aren't free I've spent an eternity at least for me to make you see But I got time left in me to make things right again I try my hardest to make sure we don't fight again I stopped slammin' doors and started taking my vitamins I'm not your little boy anymore, but boy I'm glad I am I need advice everyday and I don't come to you Even though I know I should I'm using different tools I learned the birds and the bees through Google searches And how to take a punch way back in middle school It's not that you weren't there for me Both you and dad were parental apogees, so to speak And I can't thank you enough for all you did for me And I don't thank you enough And I don't say enough how much I love you guys, but you know I do Though all the ink I burned on letters and the residue And every Mother's Day and Father's Day since I was 2 And then I left the house and now I don't have a letter from last year to outdo And that's the hard truth I'm basically a recluse My friends over-worry and one of these days I worry I'll overuse Loose strings unravel when they're over bruised And true nature reveals itself when there's nothin' to lose I didn't put a seatbelt on when I was young I didn't know the danger when a car was flung And everything I'd lose and all the life I wouldn't live before my life was done Uh And I don't remember every moment from my childhood But I remember white boards and firewood And light swords would tire us Until the sun set and all our clothes were wet from playing in the rain Or campaigns so complex that it would leave a mess I miss the coffee shop down the block from the library And the ice cream place around the corner with the purple fairy And sundaes and purple cherries Fireflies and blue canaries And everything else I can't look back on, it all scares me When I look into the past I see a different boy A shadow of myself that died some time ago with all my joy And all the toys that I have since gown out of playin' with And all the blankets in my bed that I was layin' with Uh I got some tenants in my head that I've been stayin' with And rent that I can barely afford but I've been payin' it The life we live ain't long enough and no one's sayin' it You may not live forever, but a blade can cut it short and I been weighin' it No really why's this life so hard for me Maybe I'm making it harder by livin' inside a dream Maybe I really did die two years ago and maybe nothing is what is seems Mmm That's basically the whole theme That's basically the real meaning behind what stones I can pick up and throw And everything else that turned into steam I don't know much, but I know the things keep me out my mind's abyss All the things I care about and everything I miss And I miss Alexandria At least I think I do
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"Alexandria Lyrics." Lyrics.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 21 May 2024. <https://www.lyrics.com/lyric-lf/8103160/EETH/Alexandria>.
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