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gregorrr

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Hey yo pass that whipped cream I'm about to eat some humble pie
Spilling words from the heart can be hard for a guy
But the blood, bruises and beauty of past relationships
Are demanding a voice and a place and it fits, so

Come with me I'll take you back to New York City
Me, fresh outta school, and she, into her thirties
Wise, mature and honest, she'd survived some dark times
I was just a kid, with no idea what made her shine

I took her to every fancy place I could find
Loving her whimsical beauty stretching out my narrow mind
An artist she showed me how muse can flow, including the strife
My first teacher, she opened up my spiritual life

But man I was young and didn't know what I truly wanted
And what's more, I didn't know I didn't know what I wanted
It's hard to be honest when you don't know what you need
I couldn't meet her when it counted, my love turned to greed

And so I hurt her real deep, and for that I am so sorry
I wish I could of done right by her heart and her body
The pain dulls with time, I'm sure that's true for her too
Nostalgic for the moments of being seen, and seeing you

It's been years but I still love her, strange as that sounds
Think of her when it's sunny and windy, recall those coffee grounds
She believed in magic before I ever had that in me
It's because of her I've come to be someone I want to be

Now skip a coast and find me living in Santa Cruz
My spiritual life growing roots straight through my shoes
With dirt on her boots one day she appeared, long brown hair
In a bun, by her eyes lines of grace and despair

Her body of Earth, like she grew up through that soil
Dreams mixing with hard rocks, the truth and the toil
At times few words spoke, but she could light up a room
And beautiful voice, with fingers that could bring in a tune

She was pretty funny I have to say we laughed so much
We kept a holy place for silliness, an altar, not a crutch
It's so needed when the world's in so much pain
She laid bare for me the suffering of poor people, honest and plain

She gave herself to justice, both within and without
Woke my ass up from privileged sleepwalking, that's without a doubt
Entered the koan of how to hold both the light and dark
Sent me on a new path for how I want to leave my mark

She was older too, a near decade kept us apart
From desires aligning in time, we had a hint from the start
Again I fell short of knowing what mattered most to me
Staring me in the face, couldn't let myself see it wasn't meant to be

I wish I'd known that deep courage, and even deeper trust
We'd been grown together, when hard truth was a must
Denying the depth of my own spiritual longing didn't help
I'm sorry for the ways I let you down, and so hope that you're well

There's another one, but feels just too tender to touch
I hope someday I can tell her I still love her so much
Till then I'll find ways to hold the pain and love from afar
Trust in something greater and know they're good wherever they are

Dear Lord, Dear Lord
Help me love better
Cuz I need help, I need help
And I ain't gonna stop loving
No way
No way, no way, no way
That's right

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