Anesthesia

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Feeding Pigeonz

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What's the point in being sober and depressed, when I could just inhale happiness
My thoughts won't rest, going crazy thinking about gods test
Drawing conclusions on blotter paper
Regarding my regrets my sins and how can I repent
It's not like these quills and tendencies are heaven sent
My dependence is contagious and umbrageous, it comes in stages
Still ingesting Pennies and Dimes to turn my black shirts into distant memories
Like synesthesia, while still living blinded by my dreams and anesthesia
It's a long way down to rock bottom
I got my brain sodomized by drama
By trauma in an unblossomed mind that don't know how to process
I wish I had voices in my head to occupy the dubious thoughts
The root rot's like a rubious blood clot stewing in my cuneus pot
I've had to comb through my dome like a tome for some closure
Using it like loam for my grey matter kind of feel the brome of a prodrome
'Cause what's the point of being sober and depressed when I can't clean up my mess
I passed my GED but feel I'm failing gods test why shouldn't he put me to rest
I'm failing as a role model, wailing with a cold bottle don't follow
My path it's trailing into more problems, scaling into soul maudle then you topple
Into a hole with all the dope fossils staring at you horizontal no apostle
I know it's awful don't get comfortable wasting time at full throttle don't dawdle
It started by me just sitting inside all day, and then it's like
Well then you get bored
Then you're like well I can just get high and have a whole adventure in this room
Adventure in this room, could just be high
Nowadays I only feel the anesthesia and pass the time by passing reefer
I walk this road alone, ain't turning back to bring ya
That's why I keep a gap between us
How can you look up to someone who just brings you down, I can't get it figured out
'Cause when I'll finally be sleeping 6 feet underground I won't be who you sing about
But it's a long way down to rock bottom, I'm living life traumatized
I did it to myself though, digging up a hell hole, chances all tossed aside
'Cause what's the point in being faded and depressed with all this pain in my chest
Everything I ingest shit it's all just processed but maybe that's gods test
I've proved to myself that I can be faded all the time
Make great music and make it day to day and carry on
But all of a sudden just being completely clear headed
That was the new high

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