Recovery Phase

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Harrison BM

3:16

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(Right)
(There's a lot I have to say)
(So take in all these words carefully)
My mind is a house of glass
Torn apart into fragments by this person from my past
Who seemed a top guy at first glance
Who always got a second chance and
Now I'm stuck, in a wounded silence with a mental rash

Money, cars, drive by's that you glamorised
Silhouette's of red flags in the night sky
I turned a blatant blind eye to the warning signs
Yet again they're hard to see with the naked eye
Wait, please let me breathe
I don't know what your tryna' achieve right
You painted out a life of success and delight
You lied and took my freedom now I feel, I feel like

The frown on my face
Can never portray
The scars that I really hate
The ones at home base
Tell myself, to block out all these awful feelings
Never occurred to me that I might still be healing
Just in the recovery phase

I'm stuck in my ways
I'm still in a daze
Tell myself, I'm not always gonna be betrayed n'
Take each day by the day
Learn to never be afraid but always take precaution
Thats kinda hard with someone without a friendship decorum
Threaten me everyday with different people but I never saw them
Sayin' that you'll blow my head into a million particle portions
Sending my mind into a feeble distortion
A complete disregard for my 14 year-old emotions

How you gonna do that to a child
That poor mothers' never again gonna see her kid with a smile
But I still think the worst is due for arrival
Telling no one for as long as I could
Whilst I was fighting for survival yeah

I thought It'd all be fine
Maybe if I bide my time
But that second name (breath)
Was always ringing in my mind
Felt my life flash before my eyes when you, said you
Weren't scared to use that switchblade knife

You kept me up in a fright
Couldn't sleep at night
I thought maybe it would be easier just to take my own life
I swear, the people around me yeah they kept me alive
I'm not kidding you put the first thought of taking my life in my mind

The look on my mums face when I told her
A whole series of events in no particular order
She looked me in the eyes and said (son don't cry)
But I said "mum I feel like I'll always be looking over my shoulder"

I carry the weight of a pain and hate filled boulder
This undisclosed fear only grows as I'm getting older
Man those months were like an unknown torture
Still fearing that you'll come back, or appear in my room in a corner

Yeah the frown on my face
Can never portray
The scars that I really hate
The ones at home base
Tell myself, to block out all these awful feelings or maybe I shouldn't
Pray to god every morning that maybe I was only dreaming

I'm struggling to push past it but I'm really trying
I'm still scared and in that there is no denying
Got those inner demons that I'm still relentlessly fighting or
Will I just let them beat me until my soul goes up to heaven
I'm flying

 Watch: New Singing Lesson Videos Can Make Anyone A Great Singer