(Pruning)

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Carlin

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And here I find myself again
Feet facing toward the waves and wind
Seemingly uncertain of who I am
Yet somehow unwilling to give up
Limb by limb I lose myself
To a God who knows me well
Well enough to know
What it is that my soul so desperate needs
Him
I feel I'm losing grip rapidly
Of my perception of reality
And still, I find myself
Settling for the unsatisfactory
Searching, searching for a cure
To see beyond this faded blur
And yet the only thing I see
Is pain and more uncertainty
But though I feel lonely
I am not alone
And though I feel broken
I find these pieces falling into place slowly
Slowly is the pace I'm choosing
To win the race I once was losing
So what am I to make of this?
To endure all this suffering only to try
And muster up a fake form of gratefulness?
Or could it be that it is to grow back again
This time, looking just like Him?
What if I'm actually right where I'm supposed to be?
And this whole season is really me
Growing into who I'm meant to be
In the midst of yearning
To feel loved and finally set free
What if all I'm laying down
So openly on the ground
Is the only way to surrender
All the things I once found
That slowly grabbed hold of me
And became my new priority
So
As I'm being pulled tight by either side
Suspended in this tension
Of discerning what's wrong and what's right
I'm learning to find comfort in what I cannot see
Because at the end of the day
He's been God
Longer than I've been me

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