Fear of Loneliness (feat. Scarim)

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Beaner Boy

3:08

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Keep a stick on me but don't call me Moses
Life is depressing and i hate it cause I never chose this
People stabbed my back and now my hearts closin
The girl that I like doesn't like me now I'm frozen
Frozen in fear that I'm never gon be chosen
Feel like I'm too ugly so now I start cloakin
Covering myself with extra clothes and now I'm smokin
Smokin away my pain cause I am so broken
Suicide on my mind, hopin I start chokin
Devil dancing around in my mind and I'm not jokin
He wants me to Kill myself, so my brain he starts pokin
Forever sleep sounds better than being woken
Not just rainy days, I sit in my room and cry
I cry inside my heart cause my eyes already dry
Emptiness and sorrow make me wanna die
And I hate it when my friends leave and never say goodbye
But who am I to say this? I can't even lie
Sometimes I'm fake and you wanna ask why?
You never really fucked with me so now I'm severing ties
Now when I look up, I see the beautiful sky
Sometimes I remember the fun we had and all I can do is sigh
Cause now I know you fake, you was acting like a spy
Trynna make new friends but I see their fake so why do I try?
Talking to a therapist cause I'm scared to even say hi
Problems and people keep trynna kill my heart
What is the point of living if didn't want to from the start
People dropping stress on me like a shopping cart
And I know this ain't even the worst part
Mental disorder makes it hard for me to be smart
Missing every shot with girls like throwing darts
Can't even buy happiness when I go to the mart
The god of death eats my soul like a pop tart
Trynna receive happiness but despair is all they send
My mind begins to scramble and I don't know to mend
Mend it back together before I'm close to my end
No one wants to help me so leave me alone to fend
Trynna keep it real but the truth is hard to bend
Gave you my heart not to keep just to lend
You broke it and my classes I don't attend
Feeling so corrupt like the seraph of the end
Thinking it's all just a dream but it's real
If pain was a person I would ask what's your deal?
Why are you the only thing I ever feel
I just want my future to be bright like the color teal
Aimlessly swimming around like a lonely seal
Slipping around like a banana peal
Hoes eating my life like fucking school meal
Honestly I don't think that I can ever heal
Living life is such a pain and fucking drag
Trynna rap so that I can get in my bag
But people don't think I can make it that is a red flag
Now my only wish is to die or log out of life by lag
Now my only wish is to log out of life by lag
Everything is a drag

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