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RYN

Ryan International Airlines, Inc. was an American FAR 121 airline with domestic, flag, and supplemental authority. more »

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Yeah, I'm a little crazy
Maybe fading from the shit that made me
Life's insane more so than I sometimes…
I can't stress enough just how hard I try
But no matter how much you give
You can only control the way you live
Not life itself, and that's it
I can't hide, So I'm offered a struggle that I can't decline
And I'm addicted to passion
Yeah, I think it's been holding me back man
So when the thunder starts crashin'
Realize that I struggle with relaxin'
Ask what's next, I guess I will keep goin'
I wonder just why I keep goin'
When I needed someone to lean on
I had a beat and myself then the needs gone
But f*ck, It's testing me, Life is bestin' me
Take what's left of me and hyper mentally
Write it quick before I lose my shit
And twist my lips with words that I never meant
And now I sound intense but my heart's soft
What you'd never see in my best songs
Is how I'm not a beast when the masks off
And now it's just as deep but it's a sad one
Keep it goin' 'cause I can't write a hook
So you'll have to listen to my book
And I'll hope I can still get you shook
And roped in after just one look
Guess how long it took, not long
Won't say I went sleepless on this song
I sat down and rolled back my eyes
Until I saw these new thoughts of mine
I bet this wasn't the rap you expected
But I guess your beat had me invested
So now I'm literally on the couch right now
Talkin' 'bout how I can't seem to calm down
I freak out
And my man asks me if I'm okay
For the hundred and first time today
Trust me, I wish I wasn't in pain
Trust me, I wish I wasn't stir-crazy
And the next time someone calls me Katie
I won't do nothin' won't say that it phased me
And that's my problem, I get into shit
By shutting my mouth and takin' the hit
Sorry to tell you how bad it can get
Sorry to tell you I'm angry, I'm pissed
But all that I want is to listen to this
And remember why I was crying n' shit
And I'm a bad friend
I know they'd never say it out of love n' shit
But I can tell I sound mean, I sound demeaning
I talk to you like I know everything
I never meant to make no effort
I never meant to act like you are less, Important
I guess the storm in my head is what tore us
And I will try harder to be better for us
I get this is too much
I know this is not fun
Could have made smiles and laughs with my rhymes
But everyone needs their own outlet sometimes
And I am not looking for help
I guess I'm just out here exposing myself
None of the weight on my chest has been lifted
And if I feel better, It's just for a minute
Nobody warned me that I would go mad
The second I grew up and saw what I had
It's stressful and I'm a loose cannon, It's not fair
'Cause I'm handlin' shit bad
Fine one minute then stupid sad
So one more time, I apologize for being myself
Please don't look in my eyes
I just wanted to feel something inside
I wonder if people still hate me from Highschool
I don't know why I care if they think I'm cool
I just wanted to be big and be famous
For no-good people that made me so anxious
Now I just wish it was painless
Now I just wish I could rest and live weightless
Yeah I'm in love and I hate it
Yeah all my rap is still pages
I pray to the gods and they hear what I'm sayin'
But I am not godly, yeah I'm just complaining
Nothin' like killin' my own vibe
I'm hoping that I will get better with time
I know I sound stupid and crazy like Katie
But Katie is dead, I am Ryn and you made me

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