Back From The Grave (feat. Talksikk)

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DeezNuts

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Come on with me
Walk this road that I'm traveling down
I'll tell you how I turned my life into a battleground
Thinking of all the time I've already wasted
And all the years that I just sat
Around
How habits I had formed had turned to thorns that nearly tore me down
Addiction took so much it sucks to what's left that's mine
How can I reconcile
With friends That I have left behind
And all the damage I have done to family
That cannot be undone has damaged me
And the happiness I've yet to find.
See it was fun when it started at first
Until my demons grew to be bigger than me and it hurts
Did I give up my chance
To dance with the devil and flirt
Malevolent was never me but now what the f*ck is that worth
I'm looking back now at how I fucked up most of my life
Thought I was out here spreading love but love was dope in the pipe
Now that I'm sober I'm hoping to find an opening
To make it easier to cope with things but truth is now it's harder to fight
It's scarred me for life but I'm no longer feeling far from the light
If anything I'm feeling stronger I don't belong in that right?
Is what they tell when I'm healthy so I hold on for the night.
Till motivation starts to fade and I grab the blade of the knife
And maybe the truth Is that I'm crazy I'm just dying inside
And falling victim to this monster I keep trying to hide.
I was so deep in that life I wasn't sleeping at night
I had no goals or dreams that I could seem to keep in my sight
I couldn't even write a verse the words just wouldn't be right
And trying to talk to me was awful I was constant in flight
It was so hard for me to hideaway
The scars so I would find a way
To part from giving time a day
To those in my life
So the feeling that I'm getting
When I'm saying what I'm spitting
Is not regretting cause I'm betting
It made me better that's not kidding
I'm running out of time to burn
I won't return to where I was sitting
So try to learn from my mistakes
And take advantage of life.
I was amassing in the circus and the path it leads took half of me to work it
The other half was what a man would see a tradjedy deserted
And to manage me took sacks of speed a clan of fiends to service
In the ambush with a damn disease those madness seemed to curse it
Vibe shifting any minute if the pipe didn't
Aim strictly for a different way and night vision
Came simply in a craze the pain that I'd hidden
Made hitting it contain it but a knife slid in
And now I'm just a bloody mess that had to come confess
The damage was enough to make my family sit up and stress
Spanning out thru years my plan to see an ugly death
Was just enough to have the hand of god hand down enough to rest
But what's the price of that the years of waste a life is lacked
The fear and shame the nights of just adhering to this psych attack
The spirits lead to hearing screams that steer this scene to frightened facts
Appearing doomed and clearing room to merely swoon and like to crack
I'm just displacing where my anger and my pain are sittin
Mad at me and why I'm even here to speak my lane of livin
Like how could all these people still be so unchanged and wit em
Cuz I was obviously clear in who I stayed indented
And that's a beast and I'm just Merkin shit I earned the shit
I'm bleedin on these beats like someone please find me a tourniquet
Cuz since I need to see my dreams complete I lurk and sit
Eat up beats like feedin times the air I breath and worth a grip
In the spirit of the facts I lay and spear in thru
The drums and kicks my clearest way I urge my eerie stance I view
I'm just rewording what I hear in caps by peering thru
Tons of sick injustices my years of crap my spirit skewed
And only I can only hope he tries
My daughter needs to know me
As I seem to show my whole team that keep holding by
As I get older and my soul is tried
Running at this rap game like I'm standin in the smoldered fire

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