Understanding Dolores

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I've been seeing  a therapist for several years
And my mother is a topic of every session
It saddens me greatly, nearly brings me to tears
To think of her of growing up in the depression

I didn't want to discuss her,  but the therapists make you
And after talking about it, I'm glad that I did it
I had what my therapist might call a break through
I don't understand my mom yet but I'm starting to get it

I understand now she sacrificed dearly
I understand what she sacrificed for us
But I will never understand it all clearly
Until I start understanding Dolores.

Her father, my grandfather was short bald and stout
Hardheaded, inflexible, a typical German
They made do with what they had or they just did without
This made my mom who she is as best as I can determine

She was smart but her parents would never consider
College, they only saved enough to get both their boys in
And this made my mother sad and understandably bitter
And that bitterness ran through her veins like a poison

I understand now she sacrificed dearly
I understand what she sacrificed for us
But I will never understand it all clearly
Until I start understanding Dolores

My mother was attractive, vivacious yet careworn
And since she couldn't go to college, she agreed to be married
To My father who was serving in the 82nd airborne
And over the years, four boys she dutifully carried

After 20 years of marriage, my father's cheating was revealed
And a bitter separation and divorce did surely follow
This betrayal left a wound that would never be healed
Yet another bitter pill for poor Dolores to swallow

I understand now she sacrificed dearly
I understand what she sacrificed for us
But I will never understand it all clearly
Until I start understanding Dolores

My little brother was a troubled boy who grew up with no father
And with each petty crime, my mom grew more and more detached
Until it seemed to be that parenting was simply a bother
And off to live with his dead beat dad, my brother was dispatched.

In my father's care, my brother died when his vehicle smashed
A disabled car on the shoulder that he barreled right into
They were drinking to celebrate his 16th birthday when they crashed
Yet another rotten apple Dolores had to bite into

I understand now she sacrificed dearly
I understand what she sacrificed for us
But I will never understand it all clearly
Until I start understanding Dolores

Dolores was befriended by a dental hygienist
Who had lesbian encounters or at least that was the rumor
This relationship repelled and drove obstacles between us
She was an irritating woman with a unpleasant humor

But my mother was lonesome and this hygienist hated men
And around that hatred they did form a sisterly bond
I often heard my mother say if she could do it all again
She'd do everything differently if she could wave a magic wand

I understand now she sacrificed dearly
I understand what she sacrificed for us
But I will never understand it all clearly
Until I start understanding Dolores

My therapist then motioned to the watch on his wrist
Clearly indicating to me that my time had subsided
And I waved and left his office for the front receptionist
To confirm my next appointment and pay for services provided

Good plumbers are illusive but decent therapists are rarest
And you pay for their services one way or the other
But I have to admit to feeling terribly embarrassed
I have to pay a PHD to understand my own mother

I understand now she sacrificed dearly
I understand what she sacrificed for us
But I will never understand it all clearly
Until I start understanding Dolores

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