Them There Hebrews

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Johnny Gelt

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Well my daddy Amram was a mystery
It was just my ma, my sister and me
When they took me out and bundled me in style
Now, I ain't mad that they ran and hid
But the weirdest thing they ever did
Was the day they floated me in the river Nile
Now I grew up rich, and I grew up soft
I sat in shul next to Ra and Thoth
You could say I was a man with a lot to lose
But I got in fight and in the end
Had to chill for a while in Midian
And that's where I learned about them there Hebrews
I was leadin' sheep one July day
I caught a lamb that had run away
When a burnin' bush told me to lose my shoes
The bush said, "Son, now, life is tough
And I know you talk funny but you're good enough
To go on back and lead them there Hebrews
So me and my brother did our shtick
Staff-into-snake and some other tricks
But Pharaoh challenged G-d to turn the screws
Blood, frogs, lice and wild beasts
Cattle died, acne increased
Hail fell down and Pharaoh called a truce
Yeah, he threw us out! He said, good riddance
Then he brought us back, said just kidding
We love you here, and here you will abide
So locusts came by and ate his trees
Then it got so dark he couldn't see his knees
But the last plague, well, it turned the tide
I grabbed some matzah, this old guitar
Diamonds, pearls, a few gold bars
And left so fast I forgot to say goodbye
We made it down to the ocean side
But Pharaoh's army was close behind
And I turned my face to the sky and cried
El-o-kei-nu! What did You do
We're all gonna die
Well I raised my staff to look real wise
Nothin' to say, but to my surprise
The wind began to howl like a hurricane
Yeah it blew so hard that it split the sea
Left a big ol' path we all could see
Clear 'n' smooth 'n' wide as a highway lane
We started walking, Egypt followed
We got across, they got swallowed
And that's the way it played on the evening news
Worshippin' idols might look like fun
But there's only God, and there's only one
So don't you ever mess with them there Hebrews
Well there's more to my story, it's kinda long
It took 40 years just to write this song
And in between I had a few things to do
But late at night, the desert breeze
Takes me back to the Sea of Reeds
And to do it again, I'd like to lead
Aw heck, I'd still lead them there Hebrews
I love those people

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