Parking Authority

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Capital Loss

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In the rolling hills of Pittsburgh, lies a warped and twisted street
Down steep slopes the cars go trudging, hordes of rats have trash to eat
As the houses stand here crumbling, parties last into the night
Among college upperclassmen, an old woman lives to fight

Bitter just as she is lonely, living there all by herself
Ask she did for special parking - lies she told in perfect health
'Neath her door the curb was painted, years ago they placed a sign
For herself she cheats the system - up her steps she walks just fine

Mind you, this would not normally bother anyone like me
But this crone parks not just one car - on our street she parks all three
Two sedans and one old Mustang donned with plates and placards blue
Loopholes in the laws allow this, letting scum exist like you

Sometimes still she'll park one elsewhere, setting traps for those she hates
With the police on her speed dial, on her porch she sits and waits
Handicapped signs covered by the negligence of untrimmed trees
Faded yellow paint goes unseen as her victims turn their keys

"Fools are they!" she laughs as they go home to innocently sleep
Minutes later, tickets tearing - revenue the city reaps
I hear flatbed chains a-rattlin' - tow trucks steal your car away
For a fee of two or three more hundred dollars you must pay

Park ye fools a mile downhill to walk yourself home cold and late
Armed with keys of brass and silver, keys so sharp with rage and hate
Fifteen minutes they've been walking, see them passing by three cars
Hidden by the veil of nighttime - find them scraping, leaving scars

Skip along when no one sees you - for your age you're rather spry
Limping when the cops come out - my god, I bet you think you're sly
As we all fight to find spots here, parallel park along hills
Rita keeps her double-wide space where she gets her ugly thrills

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