GRIEF X GRATITUDE

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JUMA MUSIC

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Memories, memories
Corner of my mind

I T. O. R. Y.
I reminisce and I rewind

To a much happier place
And a much happier time

When my mama was alive, and my father was alive
Before cancer and diabetes took them both before my eyes

I had everything, I was like the richest man alive
Not material, I'm talking about what money never buys

Every moment is a miracle, lows and the highs

And the present is a gift but you don't know what's inside
Until God makes you open it through too early good-byes

And you staring at your worst nightmare come alive
No Frankenstein's, goblins, ghosts, or werewolves

But a new reality without people you love the most

So I propose a toast to right now
Even if your day feel like the light's out
We can celebrate and fake like it's nice out

Grief and gratitude

When you're smiling outside, inside you're just fighting to survive
Grief and gratitude

Even when your sunshine's looking like nighttime all the time
Grief and gratitude

When you're happy to be breathing, but can't nobody see that you're grieving
Grief and gratitude

Thank God for it all what don't kill me, only makes me stronger
Grief and gratitude

Memories
Memories

Corner of my mind
I T O R Y

I reminisce and I rewind
To a much happier place and a much happier time

Back when Nana was alive
And uncle Deviere

And Grand Dad was still here
Even when somebody's sick

You ain't never prepared to come to grips with a reality that this could be it
And I can never forget

All of them days I would sit
Next to my mother while she's getting chemotherapy drip

I want to pray but only I can say is f* cancer

And everything they stand for
All them institutions that be holding back solutions

Cause they don't come from a white man in a lab coat and a suit

Man that's enough to John Q it
That's enough to start shooting

That's enough to start using and they wonder why
Drug and violent crimes be so high

Then to make the grief greater
I buried my moms and then my therapist died a week later

I was like a walking earthquake tornado volcano
Until the liquor made the pain go

When everything is rain
Gotta make your own rainbow

But I had a great mother so I'm thankful
Grief and gratitude

When you're smiling outside, inside you're just fighting to survive
Grief and gratitude

Even when your sunshine's looking like nighttime all the time
Grief and gratitude

When you're happy to be breathing, but can't nobody see that you're grieving
Grief and gratitude

Thank God for it all what don't kill me, only makes me stronger
Grief and gratitude

They say give it time
You'll get over it like dotted i's

That's a lie

I do not co-sign
Skip the dotted line

Suicide
That was on my mind, way too many times

I'd go blind to the blessings that was right before my eyes
When the grief makes you feel like death is your only relief

Nowhere near a beach, but them waves hit super deep

Losing sleep, and your days start turning into weeks
Then your weeks start blurring into fuzzy grey streaks

And the memories are like your best friends and your enemies
Up then you're down roller coaster style

I thought grief and gratitude was opposite attitudes
And they had to feud, truth is I had to use both

Like it takes sun and rain just to balance out the growth

So I propose a toast to right now
Even if your day feels like the light's out
We can celebrate and fake like it's nice out

Grief and gratitude

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