The Ballad of Lonely Rudy

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Lordcakespy

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I wonder, have you heard of her
That rancher come from Jupiter?
They say she's handy with a gun
Like no one's ever seen
She's tall and buff and oh so tough
And girls can't help but fall in love
With that no-good deadeye known as Lonely Rudy

Lonely Rudy, Lonely Rudy
Won't you share your lonely heart with me?
Lonesome Rudy, oh Lonesome Rudy
Don't you know, alone's no way to be?

One early cold Deimosian day
She wandered into town they say
A smolderin' look upon her face
Her pistol fully drawn
She took a post right in the street
And yelled, "I've come in hopes to meet
The bastard who I know has shot my pa"

The sherriff and his crooked men
Came out and said, "Hello again
You're awfully bold to show your face
With no one by your side"
She said no words, just grinned and aimed
And shot the man to clear her name
And so began her thirty-hour shootout

Lonely Rudy, Lonely Rudy
Won't you share your lonely heart with me?
Lonesome Rudy, oh Lonesome Rudy
Don't you know, alone's no way to be?

The sound of lasers filled the air
Red matter blasting here and there
Kinetic rounds and plasma shots
'Til sundown the next day
But in the end one figure stood
A shining star, a force of good
The lonely ranger, savior of our town!

But though we tried to give her praise
Or celebrate her fearless ways
She simply waved us off and said
"I just did what I had to do."
She left before the sun went down
And quiet filled our little town
My heart was broken then by Lonely Rudy

Lonely Rudy, Lonely Rudy
Won't you share your lonely heart with me?
Lonesome Rudy, oh Lonesome Rudy
Don't you know, alone's no way to be?
Lonely Rudy, Lonely Rudy
Won't you share your lonely heart with me?
Lonesome Rudy, oh Lonesome Rudy
Don't you know, alone's no way to be?
Don't you know, alone's no way to be?

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