The Heartbreak Family

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$ammie

3:13

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Years go by you've been out of reach so it's been hard to stay in touch
& when we speak you victimize & say I don't communicate enough
Know we not blood but you're the only father I'll ever know
Knew I wasn't yours but you raised me as if I was your own
Forever grateful, forever loved, forever cared
Forever times, forever moments, forever shared
A shame your role you neglected
& I was forced to accept it
My mothers heart broke & I couldn't go protect it
Hard for me to fill the shoes that you forced me to step in
Became the man of the house & I was never told but it was expected
Man in the mirror I couldn't recognize my reflection
Slowly I realize i'm sacrificing my mortal life
Tryna to balance my social with all of my private time
I've been scared it's been morphing my judgment with wrongs & rights
Parkinson's when I draw the line
My life's been fragile as I tread down this lonely road
No one for me to confide to I've been so alone
But I can't fold I must remain strong for mamas sake
Cause if she sees me break I'm scared more tears will hit her face
All this baggage that I carry swear it's not mine
But this weight forces me to stay stagnant with my life
My life's been Nardwuar i need to take a James Hard
I gotta learn what it'll take just to make it far
I've been trying figure out if you understand me
Not saying this is cause of you but imagine who iIve would've been with a complete family
But now we living plan B
& now I wonder if my failed relations is a trait past through generations
Cause my family tree is all single faces
& it seems i'm upholding tradition
I try to face it but I just can't seem to change it
I was forced to drop from school cause too many problems arose from home
Ashamed cause my graduation class is living out all their goals
Life is not a race but it hurts knowing I'm on the track alone
With a long way to go
But I hate to make excuses I gotta manage my time
I know there's more to life than focusing on what is never going right
But these thoughts pierce my mind
Might link with Imari & talk family therapy all night

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