The Happiest Thought

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Only Objects

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I'm still here and I'm still waiting
I'm still here
I'm still waiting for you

I'm so tired of these metaphors, man,
I even compared our love to a car a few songs back
And I'm so sorry for that
Guess I've just been looking to simile, or science
Or anything else I can get these hands on to make me feel whole again
And not the hole in your chest that bores at you as you lay there
Bored, tired and depressed
Just seeking what? Absolution? Conclusions?
I'd settle for something decent on the television for five minutes just to quiet this mind
But instead I've thrown it all into pop song form
And at the end of this life I'll be asking, yes I'll be demanding:
What was it all for? What was any of this for?
Because they won't play this song on the radio

(I'm still here) And I'm still waiting to see
(And I'm still waiting) What the epilogue is going to bring
Now that I am changed
(I'm still here) Moments undertaken
(I'm still waiting for you) With heart in mouth
Without you (I'm still waiting for you)

Wake up
Today is just like every other day since you left
And I wouldn't wish this feeling on my worst enemy, on the most far right fascist politician
And you know we've got more than a few of those
And it's not okay, to say that I'm not okay
Even when the charity and advocacy groups say that it is
But I still worry that the boss will stop giving me shifts
Even though he's a good man, and in fact good people are all around
But try telling yourself that when you've got the unholy trinity of
Paranoia, anxiety and depression
And even if you synthesise those and make art of your ghosts
Some might say "he's so brave"
But they still won't play this song on the radio

(I'm still here) And I'm still waiting to see
(And I'm still waiting) What the epilogue is going to bring
Now that I am changed
(I'm still here) Moments undertaken
(I'm still waiting for you) With heart in mouth
Without you (I'm still waiting for you)

And if you have that sort of love in your life, that makes you crazy
Keeps you up at nights and stops you eating and drinking
Makes your mind whir like a jet engine at 50,000 feet
Well hold on to it, even as the crazy and the anxiety comes creeping in
Because if it goes away you'll be forever changed
Part of you ALSO goes away
And yeah, you'll be okay, and yeah, actually, I AM okay
I can get up every morning and face the 6am coffee
I'm not going anywhere man, I've saved that for another day
But I AM forever changed
No more fear, I am truly the glitter boy, stripped bare
And waking up most nights, I find myself remembering

That we fell in love, truly
On my couch at 3 am, early one Saturday morning
Before falling out again, years later
3 pm on a dreary weekday afternoon
As you walked away I shouted out
"WELL I HOPE YOU HAVE A NICE LIFE"
Not knowing that those events would inspire
Verse and chorus and everything in between
And I can't really say at the end of the day
As the record spins down
And the house music starts to play
Whether it was worth it
As we go back and forth
Passing through each other's lives
Until one day
We won't anymore

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