Childhood

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L.T.

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 Struggling with Childhood? Become a better singer in 30 days with these videos!

I went into kindergarten with a decent mind state
Next year I made a few friends and I was still unphased
Then I tried to kill myself in only second grade
Wave while my joy started to fade
I sold my soul but it feels like I'm the one who paid
I walk to my house everyday but because of alcohol it was never a home
You were never sober so I had to raise myself all on my own
Because of your arguments I say everything with a negative tone
You just kept pouring but I was so young so how could I have known
What was even the purpose
You say my life is perfect, you must not see what's under the surface
All of this pain that I feel I just hope it was worth it
My family was always toxic
I just fake happiness like I got it
You drink and argue and I had to spot it
I'm still afraid to speak on this topic
I was always alone as your son
I had alcoholic parents and no friends I had no one
Don't try to fix it now cause I'm so done
There wasn't a night that went by and you didn't fight
I was powerless and I can't lie
There was so many times that I just wanted to die
When my brother left for college I had no one to rely on
But I love him to death cause he has a shoulder I can die on
In my dark black mind he turned the light on
He had problems of his own I'm sure
But he picked me up when he was at his worst
And distracted me from the curse
That is the house I live in I need to disperse
From the bad habit I have of blaming everything on me about this earth

People say I don't smile as much as I should
But you got it all misunderstood
If I wanted to I could
But there's nothing positive in this world so I never would
So I walk down the street like everything is good
This is my life I'd like to welcome you all to my childhood

In fifth grade I had a crush on this girl
I was ten years old but I wanted to give her the world
But she wasn't even worth a pearl
Even after everything you put me through
I still thought that I loved you
There was never really a time I talked to girls so it was all new
I thought that you were an angel but the devil was to
Remember when you texted my like you loved me
Cause you thought it would be funny
To play with my heart not thinking that it'd hurt me
You took my heart and removed it surgically
I was in pain and needed someone nurture me
Even if you did think it was a big joke
You didn't have to blame it on my best friend though
That made me feel at a new low
Don't sit there and act like you don't know
I was so confused and I didn't know what to do
I thought my friend stabbed me in the back because of you
I remember you texting me on the weekend
Asking if you and me could be friends
With all the suicidal thoughts you gave me I should be dead
Walking with death to my end
At least I won't have to see you again
I just had to take the time to let off some steam
I remember you texting me an apology that you probably didn't even mean
Life isn't a dream
Now that you're out out of my life it's been peaceful
It took me way too long to realize that your evil

People say I don't smile as much as I should
But you got it all misunderstood
If I wanted to I could
But there's nothing positive in this world so I never would
So I walk down the street like everything is good
This is my life I'd like to welcome you all to my childhood

There was a time where me and mom would leave my father
He drank all the time it was becoming a bother
We we were broken past the point of a doctor
When he found out he quickly dropped it
Are family was being repaired because of this
And I got a glimpse of happiness
I year after that my mother cheated on him
With a boyfriend from middle school
And it was really cruel
I felt minuscule watching my mother tear apart my family like a fool
Why would you even do this
He wasn't even an improvement
He had been out of prison and still lived with his mother
I've almost seen my family been torn apart I will not watch another
This happened throughout the entire summer
Me and my dad both know that we love her
But if there was a problem they could have dealt with it like a couple
She didn't have to get in so much trouble
While my dad tries to put back the family together like a puzzle
With all the pain I felt he had more than double
You would always sneak off to see him
But my dad can take care of himself unlike he did
And I can't do anything cause I was seen as a kid
After this all ended you and my father got married
I remember the smile you both had when I was the best man
And you putting the ring on my dads hand
I'm just glad god let my family stand

People say I don't smile as much as I should
But you got it all misunderstood
If I wanted to I could
But there's nothing positive in this world so I never would
So I walk down the street like everything is good
This is my life I'd like to welcome you all to my childhood

With all this said and done
I still feel like no one
Living is still no fun
I still wanna shoot myself with a gun
But I act like I'm fine
And ignore my mind
Wounds all heal with time
But you've pushed me off of the edge
So the only thing in my heart now is revenge

 Struggling with Childhood? Become a better singer in 30 days with these videos!