Thoughts

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Danon Rowe

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Maybe I'm not, maybe I won't ever make it go far
Maybe everything I've been doing won't ever mean nothing
Either way I know that I'm jumping, either way
I know all the money on the table I'm putting
Still work a job 'cause no funds I've been pulling
Regardless I'm pushing, cause I don't really feel like I got another option
I get clouds often, but I'll take it to the coffin
My heart never harden
But I struggle with my head getting harder, better hark 'fore I rot
Doors to the past I'ma lock, from the future gotta block yea the boat gotta rock
Before you arrive, gotta jump before you dive
Gotta move to survive, for the top you pay the price
To win gotta roll all the dice, gotta take advice
Gotta analyze everywhere you ever went wrong
Find where you belong, 'cause it ain't where you never feel happy
Where you never feel peace
Where your motivation start to decrease
Where the voices in your head never ever cease to
Make you believe you ain't supposed to be what you strive to be
Tell you that it's just all "make-believe"
That you ain't nothing but a slave to me
You ain't never gon' be saved or free
Them and me we disagree, always telling me what I'll never be
But unless it's God himself I take advice with a grain of salt
Trust nobody I don't care to see where they all want me cause I oversee
Where my ship sails, I'm the one who gotta stand by the mirror
And be content with what I see, they don't see this side of me
Lately I've been hearing silence from above
I get caught up in the rush
Then I sit and wonder why, like
Why God been quiet when my bible sit and collect dust, hey
Never been the type to, sit around and not fight through
Sit around and not push through everything that life been throwing
I know I don't see the full picture, I know I let my problems grow bigger
I know I ain't nothing but a sinner in the mirror, in the inner not a giver
And I fail and I fail and I fail again no surprise there
Say I'ma change but it stops there
Said I broke these chains but I lied there
Why is it that I can't get out? If I'm being honest I couldn't live without
A passion and a drive that I feel throughout
A purpose that fills all I need in the tank
God starting to feel second in my life where I rank
I never wanted money I never wanted attention
You can keep the likes I don't need a mention
You can name the price but I ain't selling my soul
But I'm starting to fear how I feel as a whole
Starting to wander away from my father
Feel like everyday I drift a lil' farther
Where did my desire go? To give everything I own
To give everything that I have, I know that time runs up and the hourglass
I know the aftermath if I choose my path
If I lose track, if I drift off the path that he had
But then what do I not see? If you made me this way why do I get lost?
In everything that I'm chasing
In my room back and forth I've been pacing, yeah
Got so many questions I gotta answer, look to the heavens like
What do I do with this that you gave me?
I know the destination, got the map and I got directions
Know it's rap that I wanna pursue, not be a pastor who woulda knew, hey
Questions keep me up at night, overthinking my whole life
Please open up my eyes, is this just the devil in disguise?
With a mask and a plaque telling me where it's at
With a bag full of cash put your foot up on the gas to the max
And forget the hourglass and the wrath
Don't you ever look back I'ma give you everything that you ask
What a tragedy, to never be able to pick it all apart
To one day let it tear me apart, right down the middle what a painful scar
To let my soul cripple, pour it all to the floor
To lose the war that I caused myself
To say farewell to the open gates, to never let me in what a death so grim
I toss and I turn feeling weak
Thoughts and my fears keep me up I don't ever sleep a wink
Feeling my faith grow weak
Feel the fear in my chest and my desire shrink
Gotta a lot I wanna know, got a long way to grow
Got a long way to go, never been so low
Never felt so slow, never felt more below
Can you pick me up, never leave me alone

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