Act 2 Scene 4: Null's Laboratory
The Grand Wazoo
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Soon Everyone will perish Soon, everyone will die Soon, everyone will feel my wrath My brand, my creation, my contributions to society have been swept Under the rug and have been kept in the dark And only my worst flaws, my biggest blunders, and most embarrassing moments are What those sheep masses I, Joshua Moon, will kill everyone and everything and there will be no more suffering Because there will be none to be had What is it; Jarbo my child I made a video today and 3 people made fun of me for being fat Is that so, my boy Yes, master Null And they won't stop Don't you cry Don't cry I said stop it Pull your act together, boy We've got plans to execute and I can't afford to have a weak link on our team You have to be strong, Jarbo, do you understand Yes, master Null Ahahahahaha, mwhahahahahha Oh, look at who showed up You need Simp, you want Simp, you got it Everything is a cope here in my Barbie Dream Mansion I see, Simp Masterson, that your dementia has gotten worse Along side with your impression of Dick Masterson Yeahhhh We're not in your studio, Simp, we're in my laboratory Yeahhhhh I need you to focus Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa I need you to pull yourself together Sorry, uhhh, I forgot to take my medication I, uhhh, completely forgot I was totally out of hand Sorry, Master Null Were you drinking again, Simp Of course! Of course, of course, of course I, uhhh, really shouldn't have been drinking with my medication it was completely Uncalled for it was completely uncalled for, I, uhhh my bad, chief Why do I surround with such buffoons Why do you think, asshole, because no one else would show up for a thing like thi If you say that one more time, I will get my dog, Biscuit, make him rip off you extremities Eviscerate your insides And I will make sure that you will be burned alive after wards Do you understand Yes, Master Null Sir What is it Monsieur Spencer I have talked with the FEDS today and they said they could initiate an attack on American troops by tomorrow at sundown Thanks, Monsieur Spencer, it's so good to have one of the FEDS with us on our team Yes, Master Null, sir Oh yes, Null, you said you had a very announcement or something Oh, yes, of course My friends, I have been working on a very special project A very, very special project I have been brushing up my biochemistry and STEM cell research not too long ago And I discovered a way to Enhance the genes in lab mice To cure previously uncurbable diseases such as Alztimers and ALS So their bodies can Not only reproduce neurological cells But do so at an impressive rate Does explain what happened to me at all Yes I hate to break the bad news to you, but you were a failed lab experiment, Simp But, luckily, due to your cognitive decline, you'll probably won't be able to remember that Yeah, Sean, so as I was sayin, I uhh, uh, uh, uh Was looking at some porn the other day, and there was ad for black lives matter And here's what's making me a rage, Sean Hey you look kind of uhhh, kind of chubby, uhhh, been eating some take out lately Simp, can you please stop touching me; you're gonna give me another anxiety attack Oh, we have a special guest in the Barbie Dream Mansion Soy Boy extraordinaire Matt Jarbo Wait a minute, where the hell am I In my lab, Simp Oh Oh You were a failed lab experiment What Exactly Whatever you say, Master Null Whatever you say Anyway, I have applied what I learned from my previous experiments And wanted to apply them to human body cells Particularly; fat and muscle cells My goal was to create, in my participant Was to create a gunt so large that one with this gunt can devour the whole world And have everyone die a slow and painful death Including us Oh, just our enemies, of course Gentlemen, I proudly present to you My most prized possession and my beloved brain child Won't you step forward and show yourself Boogie wants Mountain Dew
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