Act 2 Scene 2: Confrontation

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The Grand Wazoo

The Grand Wazoo is a studio album by Frank Zappa and The Mothers, released in November 1972. It was written and recorded during Zappa's period of convalescence after being assaulted in December 1971 in London, UK. more »

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Enough
We are running out of time here
We can't be bickering and shouting at each other like this

I agree
Dude, it's been like, 5 tracks since any of us has been featured, like, what the hell dude
I agree
H'okay guys, settle down, just settle down
We can't
Calm the f*ck down Sonic, you're scaring Andy

I have general anxiety disorder, and I have to scream like this otherwise 
I'll start beating my dog again

F*ck your dog
Oh my God, I need a drink

That's right, keep drinking Sonic, keep drinking your fucking soul away 
While you turn into merely a shadow of who you once were

Not now Tony
Mwhaaa
Okay, so I'm betting that all of you have heard about Joe Biden's speech, right
Yes
Why do you think we're shouting

Enough, okay, uhhh, I don't actually have a plan
I thought I had a plan, it seemed really good when I first thought of it, but it's a bad idea

Wasn't this supposed to be a Dick Show Christmas album
Like, what the hell does me and Frank have to do with any of this
Like, I don't even know who the hell Dick Masterson is, is he like a satirist or something

I think he's an alt-right white supremist alleged pedophile 
According to these google searches
Yet again, I'm probably wrong about at least one of those things

Well, it doesn't matter
You're all stuck here now
You signed the contract, you're in the band; there's no escape from this

Great, now I completely regret being on this project knowing 
That my reputation will probably get destroyed over this

Andy's lucky because everyone thinks he's dead
I mean, if we told everyone that we had Andy Kaufman with us 
Everyone would just laugh at us

Are you all my friends
I'm sorry

I was very lonely ever since I left everyone
My wife moved on, my dad passed away
My family and friends don't like each other very much
I was hoping that you all can be my friends so we can be one big happy family

Oh
Andy, I, uhhh

It's okay, Andy, I lost my wife as well and my loved ones 
Don't get along with each other neither
It's a painful world, Andy

Andy, you warmed the hearts and souls of millions of people 
And have struck a special cord with odd balls artists like myself

Oh, so, you want to be my friend

Andy, it would be an honor to be your friend
Guys, we're all one big happy family, right

Frank and Sanic agree to this
Andy, we love you, bud
Oh, wow! I don't know what to say
Sike, we're only using you for the album you fucking twimp

Alright, I have an idea
Let's just write a few songs for the Dick Show, get it played, and see what happens

Great idea
Why didn't I think of that earlier

Because you have fucking Down's Syndrome
Oh, I see how it is

Alright, I'll hand you guys some sheet music
We'll rehearse, do a few takes, and take it from there

This is perfect for my minstrel band
Sweet, let's get to work

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