The Mask You Live In (feat. Mason Love)

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Sky Meraki

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Alright
Look
Tell me how much I really mean to you
Tell me now I need the truth
Say what's real so I see it's you
Show the good and the evil too
All I want is honesty
And honestly, I don't do that consciously
I lie and lie and say I'm fine, like constantly
I used to hide the pain away
I used to fear it'd take away
My manhood that I claimed was strength
Couldn't talk it out like I played charades
I caged the rage, couldn't face the shame
Was afraid of pain, I would never cry
The weight would stay, it would shape my ways
Was afraid of aid, I was scared to cry
That's what my father taught me way back when
Understand you're not a man if you're crying in the end
Didn't reach out to my family, never opened up to friends
Till I learned that letting go of pride makes you stronger than you pretend
I'm not joking, I realized I'm broken
I don't think I realized this whole time my eyes look hopeless, na na
I'm not joking, I realized I'm broken
I don't think they realized behind these lies that I've spoken, na na
I'm not joking, I realized I'm broken
This state of life may break my mind from all these wounds left open, na na
I'm not joking, I realized I'm broken
I pray I might have strength to fight this pain that's gone unnoticed
There's so much stuff I was blocking out
All these things I never talk about
So much trauma, I never thought about
Like how my girlfriend used to hit me
Like how my brother tried to kill me
Like these drugs I did to feel me
Why am I so scared to heal me
If I had to cry, I would hold it in
Cause I had to lie, never spoke of it
But if I really could, I'd go back in time
See my father and ask him why
Why do I gotta be emotionless?
Why do I always gotta hold it in?
Keep my pain interwoven in
When a man is crying, he'd joke of it
And they say they coincide, I don't think they really feel me
All my feelings closed inside, couldn't bear to show the real me
They don't know I spoke in lies, I felt pain was too revealing
But when I unfolded mine, I felt myself started healing
As I write this now, I'm scared as shit
What will people go and make of it? Will they hate it quick?
Complain everyday 'bout the taste of it?
"He's gone soft, we see the clues"
But I swear it's hard being the realest you
I've only healed when I speak the truth
I swear being honest what we need to do
I'm not joking, I realized I'm broken
I don't think I realized this whole time my eyes look hopeless, na na
I'm not joking, I realized I'm broken
I don't think they realized behind these lies that I've spoken, na na
I'm not joking, I realized I'm broken
This state of life may break my mind from all these wounds left open, na na
I'm not joking, I realized I'm broken
I pray I might have strength to fight this pain that's gone unnoticed
I know that this shit important
Gotta let go, I gotta show my emotions
I know you'll leave, why don't you go
Sometimes I feel obsolete
Especially when you are out of the door
Like I got emotions, always be pushing 'n pulling
'N pushing my button, you're colder than snow
Promise that I am no run of the mill
F*ck up a track like it's train derailed
You know just how the stinger feels
Lyrics killer like the pain I felt
Read between the lines, hate myself
When I spit this shit I reflect myself
Feel I'm in the field I'm all by myself
How I'm balling still like is the NFL
So how the f*ck it's bad for me to catch a feel
Like how the f*ck you adamant 'n act so real like
Boy, that shit ain't real round here
You got that money you tell her you love her but when she looks back it's just blank stares
I don't got money but feelings is genuine, she don't care bout what I make here
She just want me to make statements
And she just care bout what your bank says
Ha, say less
I'm joking, my hearts steady broken
When I speak your name I get post traumatic
Most say that I'm so dramatic
But my arms, legs, shaking man,
I just wish I was joking when I say again
I'm not joking, I realized I'm broken
I don't think I realized this whole time my eyes look hopeless, na na
I'm not joking, I realized I'm broken
I don't think they realized behind these lies that I've spoken, na na
I'm not joking, I realized I'm broken
This state of life may break my mind from all these wounds left open, na na
I'm not joking, I realized I'm broken
I pray I might have strength to fight this pain that's gone unnoticed

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