Suspended Ego

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Knorii

4:20

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Alright
Check it
Look
Ain't a stranger to feelings of feeling lonely
It get real when you suffering on your own
And
Self inflicted afflictions is weighing on me
Far from perfect but nigga i'm working on it
Are you as strong as you think that you really are
Cause I know that we all hiding battle scars
It's like
Frequency speak to me
We ain't really in control as we seem to be
Now think about it for a second
I don't know if I consider life a blessing
Everything I know cause pain or obsession
Everyday I grow with another life lesson
I be feeling like I cheated death too many times
Cause I seem to be at peace when it cross my mind
Know our story is assigned by the way that the stars are aligned
And we back here again cause we mastering life
Right
F*ck how you feel about me
Cause there's very little things that I love about me
I know way too many niggas who can vouch for me
I know just as many niggas who don't know that pain at all
They can't relate to being lost
Somehow I feel for 'em
I remember what it's like when I ain't feel numbness
And they don't even recognize that they time coming
Just ain't no escape from it
You don't really
Know who you are
Till all that self reflection turn to internal war
When just in thirty seconds life can change who you are
So never get too comfortable with things as they are
It take a lot of time to see intentions are pure
And jealousy you never see from people you love
It's hard to function mentally when stuck in the mud
And you don't know what happened but you covered in blood
Your process don't ever show your progress
So make yourself a promise
Be the one and never second option
You got niggas that's looking up to you
Admiring your problems
Tryna' fix yourself with no one to confide in
How do you let your mind clear
Separation is what changed us
The chaos made us greater
Pain was preparation
Trapped inside a matrix
It get dangerous
You could be a devil with a halo
Depend on your angle
Forgive them for they fear what they don't know
Thankful for the pain that you inflict
Protect me from the things that restrict me
All that is is all that will be
Motherfucker this is not music
This my therapy don't ask me why I fucking do it
It give me clarity on things I know I fucking ruined
Self influenced by dreaming lucid
And meeting Lucy
Time is fluid a dark illusion
Can change your movement
Fragile humans assuming future
Like fortune tarot
Is there room to tell all
Bodily prison
Never be more than a vessel for sinning
Meek indecision you do me wrong
I'm supposed to forgive you
Lost innocence I wonder how that feel again
Understanding what you know
The differences in kids and men
You see a a lot but that don't mean
You really comprehend
What's right or wrong
I'm attacking your morals then
If you had the power tell me how you write your story's end
Or would it never end
Would you do it again
Endure that same pain again
Or would you never let your story begin
Tell me how i'm 'posed to love if i don't love myself
Tell me how i'm supposed to trust if i don't trust myself
I had a hard time finding self
A harder time redefining self
I wish y'all understood just how odd that felt
Perfect imposter shuffling the cards I dealt
Lessor attractors showing where I ain't grown yet
Hustling backwards
False prophets
Looking for answers
Waiting for rapture
Ain't no one surviving the damage of
A jealous God
What's the difference between you and I
Despite the odds you repent and that's why you alive
You still don't get it we were put here on a dying world
Esoteric in my thoughts it's like divine soil
What's your source for understanding
Sometimes I pray twice make sure that
That nigga get the message
I'm impatient with my blessings
Just like you
I'm in need of some direction
Just like you
But unlike you
I tried to remove what made me human
Get in tune with something that's more than lateral movement
Cause every ending new beginnings
Working on my pride it still defend my bad decisions
Error in my way some problems just won't fade away
Envy stricken some people I just can't read they face
Find yourself before your darkness do
If you don't this my gratitude
For when you find the path leading back to you
I think a lot of us don't really understand how to heal from trauma
Most of us just learned how to live through it
At the point of death we all realize the same universal life lessons
But
I just haven't figured out why some peoples experiences
Are more extreme than others
When you in a consistent battle with ego
It's like you kill yourself over and over and over and over again
Searching for the perfect version of yourself
But
At some point you ask yourself like
What is perfection
Then you start to realize as long as you in this physical body
You alway gone be limited
It's like suspended animation
But how do you get to something far beyond with out
Leaving the people you love behind
Cause everybody ain't gone follow

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