I Really Mean

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Brent Funkhouser

5:28

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My head's spinning, I'm gasping for air
Keep reaching out for something that's just not there
Fighting every urge to run and hide
But I can't make things different, or make things right
When my thoughts get jumbled and my chest gets tight
I'm not built for confrontation or any relation that exposes my vulnerable side

Standing on the sidewalk at a quarter past close
A dime-store Johnny Cash black from head to toe
Singing Goodbye Little Darlin' as her train rolls by

The mystery's out now, and it won't be solved
Another revelation left unresolved
I wanna speak out, I wanna scream
I wanna say something for once that I really mean
That I really mean, that I really mean

Surviving in this city keeps knocking me low
I lost all my motivation a couple months ago
There's not much more here I have left that I can lose
It makes me wanna pack my suitcase, grab my gun
Take what money I have left, hit the highway and run
Life as a vagrant seems simpler than facing up to you

The mystery's out now, and it won't be solved
Another revelation left unresolved
I wanna speak out, I wanna scream
I wanna say something for once that I really mean
That I really mean, that I really mean

Anyway I'm not sure if I even have to admit it
I never lost the desire, I just lost the grit
You probably know that, you probably know that I'll never say
So tonight I'm gonna hit the bars, let my heart sink
Fold my arms atop the hardwood and order drink after drink
Till I can't remember who or what it is I'm tryna forget

The mystery's out now, and it won't be solved
Another revelation left unresolved
I wanna speak out, I wanna scream
I wanna say something for once that I really mean
That I really mean, that I really mean

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