Projection

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You were choked up the last night I saw you, really saw through you
The silence stifling, motions could have been measured in fractions of degrees
Laying on my back in your driveway, the clouds as transparent as your intentions
The moon, as impossible to touch:
Your internal struggles, the state of mind where I wasn't an ally

In denial, I tried to laugh it off
That's what I've always done, just laugh it off
But you weren't laughing
Neither was I
We hadn't laughed together in a long while

Every argument played out in my head,
The dumb things I said,
Filled with regret as every apology I owed you stuck somewhere between the pit of my stomach 
And the base of my neck:
A debt you could never collect,
And you grew to question my intent
But did you ever question my distress?
Did you ever accept the fact that I was also depressed?

Or did you just intend to dwell on the fact that I wasn't perfect?
When were my problems ever addressed?
If my crime was neglect, you must also confess
But I'm done being your emotional punching bag
At this point it's all just forgive and forget
That you used me up,
Rotted my insides and now I am just a husk
Looking after his rust

Years after you left me on the side of your road
You'll be returning home; I wonder if you'll be greeted at the door by your daughter
Hayley Sloane, that's what you always wanted to call her
Or has that changed?
So much has changed for me,
But was I important enough to you to affect that name?
Maybe I never meant anything and it's all just the same

Will you ever wonder about me? 
Will you reach out across infinity to hold my hand in another place at another time that might have been?
Will we ever get the chance to talk and forgive so in time our wounds can heal with Closure and amends?
Or maybe just mine 
Maybe you're just fine now
I wish you well

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