Contradiction

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Cam Cunningham

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Why I gotta feel this way
Why do I always gotta feel this way
I know it’s good that I don’t take shit
But sometimes I wish that something could take all these feels away
There’s moments when I just love this life
There’s others when it’s like nothing’s right
And for the most part I wanna be alone
But sometimes I need someone to hug at night
It keeps me up at night
But that’s just how I feel
Can’t sleep, need another NyQuil
But that’s just something quick
So it doesn’t fix something bout me
That wasn’t ideal, that’s real
But that’s how I, deal with pain
Sometimes I feel insane, yeah
Need some space for my brain, yeah
Need some space for my brain
Cuz it lapses (Uh, huh)
Thinking bout the times that I used to flip out
But I never did gymnastics (Nah)
I ain’t ever did gymnastics (Yeah, yeah)
These ain’t good tactics
I’m tryna work these things out
So that’s why I had to ask this… (Yeah)
Why do I always gotta
Always gotta
Always gotta be so low
When I should feel high
This the worst, best time of my life
I’m a contradiction
I’m a contradiction
Why do I keep the pain so close by
When the good times leave in the blink of an eye
I’m a contradiction
I’m a contradiction
Why I gotta be low
When I should feel high
This the worst best time of my life
I’m a contradiction
I’m a contradiction
It’s hard to win, when you playin' both sides
I just wanna know why
I’m a contradiction
I don’t know why I’m a contradiction
I don’t know why I’m a contradiction
Don’t know why all my thoughts conflicting
It may be cuz these times tell signs
And right now mine’s saying life’s not a game, but a competition
So everyone we face is our opposition
But everyone we face is in our position
So my heart and mind try to fight
It don’t feel right, so I write in my composition
Like I’m on a mission
Talk about the times when I feel so lost and I can’t find peace (Uh, uh)
Or how I work out tryna build my strength up, for the moments that I’m weak
A dark kid shining bright, but times can get bleak
A kid at heart, but they say I’ve peaked
We battle bout the times I choose not to speak
Or bout the thoughts that wake me up when I’m asleep
Like damn
Can’t get too specific
Then I’ll find myself getting too conflicted
It gets bad when you don’t like the place you goin'
But it’s the same one that you predicted so
So who’s the captain
Who runs this ship? Me or my distractions
Is this path I’m on one of passion
Or am I just searching for reactions I’m asking
I’m self-sufficient, music’s where I’m so dependent
It made me sick, now I’m so infected
Ain’t no treatment that’s gon correct it
The buzz that I’m building’s too loud for it to go neglected
Now I’m calm, not so collected
Life’s a cost that’s so expensive
I swear I ain’t no detective, but I really wanna know, yeah
Why I gotta be so low, when I should feel high
This the worst, best time of my life
I’m a contradiction
I’m a contradiction
Why do I keep the pain so close by
When the good times leave in the blink of an eye
I’m a contradiction
I’m a contradiction
Why I gotta be low
When I should feel high
This the worst best time of my life
I’m a contradiction
I’m a contradiction
It’s hard to win, when you playin' both sides
I just wanna know why
I’m a contradiction
Don’t know why I’m a contradiction
Don’t know why I’m a contradiction

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