Inner Demons (feat. Julia Brennan)

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A.C.N.H

5:23

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They say don't let them in
Close your eyes and clear your thoughts again
But when I'm all alone
They show up on their own
Cause inner demons fight their battles with fire
Inner demons don't play by the rules
They say just push them down
Just fight them harder
Why would you give up on it so soon
Every night I just
Sit in this room
With my pen and pad
Trying to make sense of the demons in my head
Are they trying to tell me the truth
That listening to them is gonna make it all better in the end
Or are they trying to deceive me
Wanting me to go all in so they can play their hand
Where is my path headed
I've lost myself so many times
Who do I ask for directions
I know you hear the pain in my message
I struggle with it daily
I've been so close to the verge I've lost count
I don't want hell to win
I don't want to leave behind everything
And everyone I know
I don't want to let them down
I hate Newell and I hate A.N
Ashamed of who they've become
I don't want to be out of place any longer
I'm slowly losing my mind here
Instead of trying to get out
Maybe I should just get on a suit
Sit back and wait for it to all end
Wait to see a light at the end of the tunnel
Or wait to see the end of a barrel
They say don't let them in
Close your eyes and clear your thoughts again
But when I'm all alone
They show up on their own
Cause inner demons fight their battles with fire
Inner demons don't play by the rules
They say just push them down
Just fight them harder
Why would you give up on it so soon
In these low times
I fail to see the light
I want some company
But I don't want to subject anyone else to this
Take away this pain
I want the calm
I didn't ask for this
I just wanted to shoot my shot
Aiming for the moon
This all seemed so marvelous
Now I see the destruction it leaves you in
I wanted the fame and fans
But in my heart I couldn't accept how hard this would be
The tension between myself and my image
Where do I go from here
Do I keep trying to force myself to do it
Or do I walk away while I can
Before the devil takes me away
The pain in my own eyes
I can't stand to see it
I just avoid mirrors
I can't stand my reflection
I just look to the sky and ask god why
Maybe one day the smog will fade
Just like the blood on my hands
They say don't let them in
Close your eyes and clear your thoughts again
But when I'm all alone
They show up on their own
Cause inner demons fight their battles with fire
Inner demons don't play by the rules
They say just push them down
Just fight them harder
Why would you give up on it so soon
Wishful thinking when you're crammed into this cage
My soul is burning away
But I already lost most of it because of my father
Growing up he made a lot of mistakes
Why didn't I learn from them
They tell me this feeling isn't permanent
To grow up and be a man
Be strong and hold up the weight of the world
But my knees are weak
Ready to crumble
I document my sorrows
Trying to show these kids they're not alone
But even with all those views and praise
I've never felt lonelier
Trying to act like I don't care
But inside all I do is stress
I can't loosen up
I stay stiff with this noose around my neck
Watching the supports around me dropping every time I drop a track
I stride through the hate
Hoping to see a single positive comment
Maybe I'm doomed to walk this path as long as I'm here for
They say don't let them in
Close your eyes and clear your thoughts again
But when I'm all alone
They show up on their own
Cause inner demons fight their battles with fire
Inner demons don't play by the rules
They say just push them down
Just fight them harder
Why would you give up on it so soon

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