Cool Debauchment
Ebor Mistral
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Move to the big city Make something big of me I will be joyful free Please past do not find me (Get the) f*ck-f*ck-f*ck outta Leeds and my Mums From the lames leave lames London calls lights and all Not the same chase fame play the game party hard In the eve with a clique of fake gays Go home then the same next dayyy Tell Uncle Dennis I'm looking for a job right now but I failed that Too "back to Leeds for you" he said and I broke down yet I knew That I would come back took a year but back here round Sydenham Gay vicar racist husband and a drag queen damn sounds like a Dave sitcom no lie four one Trewsbury road I'd sneak fare to Brixton F*ck the Southern Rail Bound Charge me for late cancelled trains call yuh teef and wait Sincerely London crowd I got moves to make get wristbands meet Thomas on CP time state "Worth wait" In tow with 5 lewks could not decide which to use so 5 changes You know I'm doing this for clout Numb pain Cause when we dancing at GAY Late I can pretend I'm okay that things are normal And I'm normal Doing things the right way No N29 panic attacks No flashbacks or mistakes I'm in the present I am grounded As I move to the beat Got anon-nee-mit-ay A temporary escape Reality's a poor state I'm not ready just yet mate Give me more time in my space Please not the lights I can't face My pain, my shay-ee-eem I leave Heaven Where you think I go when lights go on Why you think I danced I watch my tone For what is about to go on Goodbye Thomas have a safe bus home Heading other way the arches call Or the Ramillies depends on horn Horn of Ebor At 4 in morn Walk around the place in dazed stupor Perfunctory foreplay then the score He gets it in both ways choose ways He shoots he scores then out it pours Funny pear smell emanates from doors The booths with mouldy mats no sandal shoes And then the moans of mean gay youths And hot as hell bored cleaning crews Shower go home at 9 feel used drip drip Avoid the eyes on Tube Have brekkie sleep a little snooze Back out Warren Street/Vauxhall dude, damn Hoein' can be fun 'cause it fucks the humdrum And distracts from the pain as a poz queer BAME But I need to hoe in, concert with myself Not to hide myself, give trauma a shelf Face my issues, damaged tissues In my brain now, bad mental health Need to get help, I tried that help Was not believed, need to help self I will help self, lie get new job Get corn on cob, Google self help Probe the life dealt, life I was robbed Grindr log off, face the not felt I'll be okay, it's a process PTSD you'll get gone And then I can have an anon On my terms and needs not the will of past Leeds Misadventures to just up and leave I cannot pretend, this is enough for me The same club and, conversations kill me I need an end, basic gay shit each week Whitewashed arbitrary rules and Fuckability should not be the social value F*ck the white and thin masc system in our queer venues I will no longer chase the scene in that way, won't do Let the bias and hard living catch up with the rest of you I am uppity got attitude I earned the hard way I thought I had Cool Debauchment but I lacked true agency
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"Cool Debauchment Lyrics." Lyrics.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 2 May 2024. <https://www.lyrics.com/lyric-lf/5089013/Ebor+Mistral/Cool+Debauchment>.
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