Entry 2

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Sihle.

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Why?
The pressure just gets to me all of the time 
It's crazy it used to make me feel alive
Now all it do is just f*ck with my mind 
(f*ck with my mind, f*ck with my mind) 

Why? (Why? Why?)
The pressure just gets to me all of the time (All of the time, all of the time)
It's crazy it used to make me feel alive (Feel so alive yeah yeah)
Now all it do is just f*ck with my mind 

I hope I made you proud 
I hope I did everything that wanted from your child 
I hope that the dreams you had for me start working out 
I hope I can continue to keeping a smile on your mouth 
I hope a lot 
I really do 
But some of it I can't achieve and the sad truth 
Like living this life thing as a scared youth
It's weighing heavy on my heart
Which is also where I want to put this knife through 

Standing in the mirror yeah
Wondering how am I going to do this here 
I got so many options 
I could slit my wrists 
Or clog up my oesophagus 
I can do both I guess 
Just to make sure I guess 
I hope they read the note I left
I hope they read the note 
It's time for me to go 
I'm going back home 
If I have a home 
Heavens not a place where I would go
They don't allow people like me over there 
Over there 
Suicidal Christians, they just go to hell 

Suicide note 
To the only person I lived for, Mom 
I'm sorry it had to be this way 
I just couldn't take it anymore 
All the expectations and heights I had to reach for everyone else and not for myself
It just got too much for me
This life thing just isn't cut out for all of us 
I'm sorry, see you on the other side
I love you 

I can see all you tears 
I can see all your fears yeah 
I had them too

I can see all you tears 
I can see all your fears yeah 
I had them too

You know I'll never leave you momma 
I'll be there in your dreams momma
To hold you in your sleep momma
I hope you find healing momma
Or find another reason momma 
To see a brighter day tomorrow 

I can see all you tears 
I can see all your fears yeah 
I had them too

I can see all you tears 
I can see all your fears yeah 
Just know I had them too

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