Magellan Didn't Circumnavigate the Globe, He Circumnavigated My Heart

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ColdmaN5

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Mr. Magellan where are you
Back around the year 1502
That's the time when the Duke
Of York asked who
Can travel 'round the world
In eighty short days
The cocky Magellan answered
I can

Magellan didn't circumgravitate the globe
He navigated my heart's circumference

So Magellan built a massive ship
Out of cheap wood and beef stew
And he started a search around the world
For the toughest and bravest crew
A hundred men did answer the call
But he narrowed it down to two

Magellan didn't circlenavigate the globe
He circled around my heart counter-clockwise

Before you knew it he had set sail
And the clock began ticking down
Right off the bat he knew he would fail
And he thought about making himself drown
But the liar Magellan thought of a plan
One that would let him succeed
And he motioned to his crew pulled out a map
And said hear ye hear ye
We will not make it at this slow rate
I can still the dock and it's day eight
Plus I can't stand being out at sea
And I hate all this lack of fun technology
So let's just take a shortcut
A shortcut right through here
And with his finger he drew a path
And his men snickered and sneered
What are your problems
Magellan asked quite concerned
And where on Earth is my butter
I asked for it freshly churned
Then the men took off their coats
And looked him square in the eye
We've confiscated this boat
In the name of the FBI
Then they held up a pound
Of cocaine that they found
In Magellan's glove compartment
Meanwhile on land cops searched his apartment
Somehow Magellan went down in history a hero
But five hundred years later we know
He was a junkie

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