How Do I (feat. Allison Jae)

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Ryley Michael

3:35

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Lately I've been feeling down and depressed
I got a lump in my throat and a hole in my chest
Pressure building in my eyes trying to catch my breath
But it keeps runnin away I can't get no rest
I'm overwhelmed I don't even know what to say
My heart aches I'm pissed I don't know how to pray
I can't get out my mind the image of step mama dying
And one of the last things she said to me coherently
Was I do not want you to leave I want you to stay
Please son don't go away I know you
Gotta go you got a lot on your plate
But I wish you could stay her eyes welled up with the pain
I just held her hand as we sat and prayed
I promised her I'll be back in a couple of weeks
Tears fell down her cheeks she began to weep
And she said, "Son I don't wanna die this young"
Not sure I will leave I've never done this before
Our time togethers been sweet but still I wish we had more
And how do I say goodbye
My heart ached and I cried as I went for a drive
I had to take a break for just a moment of time
I called my brother and his wife I wasn't to sure why
But I just cried and cried and I asked them why
Bruh I don't get it I don't know what to do
My heart is broken in two there's nothing more I can do
I am a mess and I'm not sure which choice is the best
I have been strong for too long and I'm needing some rest
So I chose to go back home
I left early in the morning so that we could put some work in
On the "West Coast" a song that we working
For the region we were birthed in and then the call came in
It was my pops my heart stopped my stomach dropped
I picked up my dad wept and said son
You gotta come back quick Traci ain't doing so good
She in a hospital bed not sure how long she will live
This is so hard for me I've never done this before
I don't want you to leave me with a heart that is torn
And how do I say good bye
The next day I was back on the road
I had a lot on my mind and a lot on my soul
My heart heavy with grief and emotions I've never known
Sending prayers up to the Lord but feeling so damn alone
The second I got to town I headed straight for the hospital room
My sister saw me her face change she wrapped her arms around me
We ain't say not a dang thang
Our eyes were welling up we were feeling a lot of pain
And matter a fact we still feeling a lot of pain
It's been over 2 years that those 3 weeks have been haunting me
I see 'em in my sleep see 'em and it makes me weep
Cuz I don't understand how this could be part of your plan
It's had my faith all shakin' hearts been aching
I ain't got no time for waiting on an answer
So I've been trying to figure it out But trying to figure it out has kept me from living out loud
I never thought we'd end up this way
I never thought we'd see the day
When we'd have to say
How do we say goodbye
How do we say
How do we say goodbye

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