Ramblin'

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Jadon White

3:25

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Some of the same ones that I pray for preyin' on me
Closed my mouth, kept it lowkey, watched everybody switch up on me
I peep the ones tryna come around again to take out the same knives they put in my back
(Um) I give too many chances for that
Count the popcorn on the ceiling for dinner
This is more than gettin' and keepin' my head and my bread up
I'm way past fed up
I don't know what my limit is
But I think this is it
Mama's cryin' in the kitchen again
How we gon' meet these ends
Ending it all on my mind pills in my hand when she walked in
Unfortunate that wasn't my first attempt
Everyone comes to me
But why don't nobody check on me
Even if they did I wouldn't- I wouldn't even say nothin' cause

I'm terrified of my feelings
I run whenever I feel 'em
When I speak nobody listens
I can't let nobody near me
Keep everyone at a distance
I'm jaded I feel indifferent
I'll cut you off I won't miss ya
I just duck off and go missin'
So many circles I'm dizzy
I can see it so clearly
You won't convince me I'm trippin'
One day you gon' fuckin' miss me

If you're stuck in your ways stay out of mine
Just 'cause you're older doesn't mean you're right

And if you ain't gon' love us just don't have us then
How does a parent not love their own kid
We're at your mother's funeral
Now ain't the time to cause a scene
I know better now
You never deserved me you get no more of my energy
I forgive you even though you ain't apologize
I did that for me
Kept the window open for too long it's time I release
When he dies don't hit my line
Ain't nothin' personal or beef
I won't go to a stranger's funeral and sit with their family

I feel guilty for my feelings
So I suppress when I feel 'em
When I speak nobody listens
I can't let nobody near me
Keep everyone at a distance
I'm jaded I feel indifferent
I'll cut you off I won't miss ya
I just duck off and go missin'
So many circles I'm dizzy
I can see it so clearly
You won't convince me I'm trippin'
One day you gon' fuckin' miss me

When I say "no" they ask me again
Tell me when did 'no' ever mean somethin' different

I still pray for my rapist
Having a good heart is dangerous
Lupus got my body achin'
But I just smile through the pain
And I'm so tired of my jobs
God knows I'm sick of it
Soon as I get the chance I'ma peel out that bitch
Damn this life can get lonely
I wasn't until you asked me
Bite my tongue harder when I'm trying not to lose it
Lord knows I've been goin' through it
Okay I know that I'm ramblin'
This shit just gettin' too heavy
Keepin' my cool all the time got me feelin' crazy

But I'm gonna be alright
I just need some time

I'm terrified of my feelings
I run whenever I feel 'em
When I speak nobody listens
I can't let nobody near me
I feel guilty for my feelings
So I suppress when I feel 'em
When I speak nobody listens
I can't let nobody near me
My only focus is healin'
Gotta embrace what I'm feelin'
When I speak nobody listens
I can't let nobody near me
Keep everyone at a distance
I'm jaded I feel indifferent
I'll cut you off I won't miss ya
I just duck off and go missin'

Please tell me if you can hear me
Why doesn't anyone listen
Please tell me if you can hear me

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