The Last Apology

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I bought her flowers today
She deserved 'em 
No special occasion 
Other than she earned 'em 
She's a hell of a woman to stay by my side 
After I full on rage with that 
Crazed look in my eye 
I try to do better - I swear, I really do 
But she and she alone knows the truth 
I'm not gonna change 'till I see my issues 
'Til then, I'm in denial seeing what fists prove 
Not much. But I continue to clutch 
Continue to clench 
All I see is red 'til red drips from her head 
And I stop. Shocked at what I've done 
"It'll never happen again" 

"I'm sorry, so sorry" - ringing in her ears 
"I'm sorry, so sorry" - won't wipe away her tears 
"I'm sorry, so sorry" - won't help suppress her fear 
"I'm sorry" - lies told to her for years 

I bought her flowers today
And some chocolates 
Last night was bad 
We argued and she just wouldn't drop it 
I tried to keep calm but I lost it 
And wailed on her 'til she begged me to stop it 
F*ck! What the hell is wrong with me? 
Do I find comfort in the dark side - swallowing me 
Calling to me - waiting for a response? 
With my short fuse it doesn't take long 
I don't smoke, I don't drink, I have no other vices 
But these fits of rage render me blinded 
It's like I black out 
After last night, both her eyes are black now 
Three broken fingers and cracked floating rib 
Then the choke marks I hope no one notices 
Told the doc we have rickety old steps 
And as she slept on bed rest, I said 
"I'm gonna change, babe" 
And kissed her on the head 

"I'm sorry, so sorry" - ringing in her ears 
"I'm sorry, so sorry" - won't wipe away her tears 
"I'm sorry, so sorry" - won't help suppress her fear 
"I'm sorry.." - lies told to her for years 

I bought her flowers today
The biggest day of my life 
I bought the best bouquet around the way 
For my wife 
Not to say "sorry" - I've truly changed 
It took time to find but I can't stay 
Don't ask how I'll manage 
I want you to know I finally understand 
Last week I did the most damage to my baby done 
And realized I'm the crazy one 
Those nights weren't worth the seizures 
And medical procedures, fees 
Nose bleeds, scrapped knees or lesions 
Love don't throw fists for any reason 
And I'm sorry for it never being even 
I don't know what to say 
Except "I'm sorry" 
I hope that that's okay 
I promised to change too many times 
"Goodbye, babe" 
I'll put these flowers on your grave

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