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Half Twin Brother

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I'll carry you always
Now that our thing's not complete
Maybe we're blessed with the thoughts of what could have been
I want you to be proud of me now that you hate me
Sometimes I shout
What the hell I was thinking
So you'd best believe
Whatever makes you hate me the most
We're done, we broke our one star
Do you feel like Frankenstein
A thing in human feelings
(Why do you want to screw your life up all by yourself)
About friends
I guess you can understand how it feels to lose someone to a friend
I guess I don't have any friends
What I'm supposed to do with my space
What I'm supposed to do
With the freedom I gained
What's left to share with the one in my bed
I thought maybe I'd write a song
To explain all the things
I can't find the words to say
I know you won't care to hear
The so called excuse
If you could see your face when I couldn't stand myself
You would scream so loudly
I don't want to provide sadness anymore
But that's what I do
And if that's what I do
Then i now should go
It seems like the end but it doesn't feel like it
Years later
I'll feel like i know you
I'm not perfect
But no one is
But when i'm no good
What excuse do I repeat
Well you can't cure what you are
We see things no one can see
But i see things that you can't see
I'll see that none of my expressions shows you how I feel
Cause you may just fall for it again
Your perfect soul's not good for you
And where do I go
When they're all asleep
I wish you're asleep
So calm in your dreams
I have bruises all over my heart muscle
Frustrating images of your face
Pop in my mind
I roam alone in a dream from now on
Another body, another one fills your bed in my thoughts
I'm not the one you hate and I'm not the one you loved
It's probably a comfort that you don't know who I really am
It's cause and effect you're gone and it hurts
The simplest kind of pain
I want new friends cause the old ones do not want me anymore
And I blame it on me
Sometimes I wish I could change
But I don't write you to talk about me
Maybe the stars are hiding in us
Maybe it's a shame that it's the other way around
Sometimes we know what we cannot provide
And just digest only our own side
I harden my shell
Coping without friends
I'm running out of reasons
To wake up in the morning
And where do I start
When I see you again
What I'm supposed to say
And when do I stop
Causing you pain
It's a sick thing
To know I love you
And maybe you're wrong
For giving a f*ck
(Forgiving anything at all)
But I'd like to know you miss me
And maybe you sleep
Under your bed
Cause you can't stand comfort anymore
Soon our bodies will be
Further than our shadows reach
And the sound of our names
Won't be matching no face
In our memory
Our torn off page
I swear
I'll be paying visits in your bedroom
When my flesh does no longer decorate my bones
Sitting by your side
While ignoring the call of the afterlife that waits
Let me quote this for you
What we end has no place
And not the minimum grace
Streaming tears in your face
Washing off all we craved
And the pieces of
Our butchered souls
In my sleep I am still
Now I no longer fear
To lose company
Or anything at all
And I surely am lost
On the crust of all those
Waves we used to fail
To want to sail
Confusion is taking over me
I'm less devoured
But more empty
And I'll struggle until
I'm brand new and clean
Straight up numb and wet
Like everyone
And everything
That fails to feel
That just exists
And I just want to feel
Your feet on my lips
That apology
I couldn't speak
Out loud on the phone
When I heard your voice
For the last time
(The last time)
I'd rather be a ghost drifting by your side
As a condemned spirit than enter heaven without you
Because of my love for you I will never be a lonely soul
Drowned for the last time
I'm buried alive
No more weight on my chest
And no more knives in my neck
I will scream
I will scream cause I can't be heard
You won't turn your head
Anymore

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