I Try To Sleep

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bell's flowers

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I try to sleep but sleep won't come
I lay in bed awake and anxious
Hoping for peace to fall on me like a suffocating pillow
But my dreams never appear

And I try to sleep but sleep won't come
I clear my head with stars and space
Yet comets of love left undone
Shower down and through and across my face

I try to sleep but
I still feel her indentions in the bed
Sometimes my hand strokes where she laid
Touching a ghost hip, breast, head

And I try to sleep but sleep won't come
I firmly hold it from under my pillow
Already loaded, parent's gun
In my mouth, I suck on steel pacifier

Finally, my sleep has come

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