I Wore Capes As a Kid

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No Savant

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Big dreams, big dreams
Said they were coming from?
Sixteen, sixteen
Now here the bullets come
I've seen, I've seen
Seen it all
Ask me why I'm lying to myself
Point blank
I'm feeling traumatized
I've been oh so lonely lately
Never had the guts to tell you why though
Said "hell if I know"
Sometimes I wanna,
Look in the mirror and scream
At my past self
For ruining everything,
Abused my mental health
Sometimes I scream at you too
For damaging my youth
My innocence is long gone
Replaced it by the truth
Hard pills to swallow,
Like you didn't eat food
And I still feel guilty for it
Even though it wasn't my fault
It still feel like that was my fault
I wore capes, back as a kid
Was watching superhero movies
I know I could never save you
We went through hell so I could prove it
I wore capes back as a kid
Was watching superhero movies
I know I could never save you
We went through hell so I could prove it
Now I'm 21 years old
I never had the strength to finish this
The pain went and got worse
And I never learned to diminish it
I went to get some therapy
Empowered now I'm feeling it
I gave away myself like that was charity
And that shit wasn't my fault
I know it wasn't yours too
These patterns keep repeating
The lessons that I've gone through
'Cuz life will move in cycles
I'm choosing different actions
The version that is gone now
Was needed for protection
I'm struggling with self worth
Depending on my self hurt
I never put myself first
And that shit isn't my fault
I know it wasn't yours too
I know you never meant to
Please know that this is bigger
Than you were or I was
You just hit my triggers
My patterns start to fade now
I'm feeling more secure
The man in the mirror
Doesn't look the same anymore
I wish I was a god
Said I wish I was a god
Like a bird, or messiah
We could float much higher
How I wish I was a god
How I...
Said I wish I was a god
Like a bird, or messiah
I could give a little help
We could float much higher
I could save you from yourself
I need to focus on myself
Said I wish I was a god
Like a bird, or messiah
I could give a little help
We could float much higher
I could save you from yourself
Nobody really needs my help
Now give me pain
Give me pleasure
Give me everything,
Desire
Give me highs
Give me lows
I want everything,
The fire
Give me heart
And the strength
Yeah the courage
In my soul
Plant the seed
Let it grow
Never be the same no more
I awaken from the depths,
No more pain
No more stress
I could fly
If you'd let me
See my wings
I attest
All your dreams
Coming through
All my fears
Done fell through
All my tears gave me power
And my lessons gave me proof
Open heart
You can hurt me
I'm not bothered by my pride
Feel the warmth
In my spirit
I'm so thankful for my guide
Now I see
Through the smoke
Pulled the curtain
Fake beliefs
I could fly,
If you'd let me
See my wings
As I grieve
Now I Shine
Hope you see
Hope you're proud
This new me
Not the same as before
Not my heart that you tore
Through the wire
Made it out
I hope I could show you how,
But for now
I'll be loving in you in silence for a while,
I hope you make it

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