Then And Now
The Prophet Obblonge
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Does Ira Glass still do this American life She listens to NPR We were both listening to it when an interview with The Temptations was playing, that day At Pam's when we met yet again And as I entered the building I laid a warm, wet hand upon her Bare pelvic bone, she emitting An exciting ooh Two days after she and Tommy Tiny Penis hooked up, he would Later f*ck Pam at her then current Boyfriend's house who was present on the couch in the living Room, in the ass I hear, while I was locked outside with Paula by a mischievous Patty, and my Then girlfriend Prissy was at Work as a waitress at IHOP She suggested our little new in-law holiday group each say Something defining of themselves As an introduction to each other I offered a quote I had recently heard from one of The Temptations on NPR, and her eyes Continued to sparkle, hazel reflecting blue Later Tommy Tiny Penis attempted to earn brownie points with The girl's parents, Ken and Gloria My next door neighbors, by taking the group out to dinner at Olive Garden, saying he knew The head chef working So, filing into our seats at the table, Patty launches a convincing Argument to her father Ken, insisting that she sit in the chair that he was about to plop Down upon Winning convincingly, she seats herself not next to Tommy, but Directly in front and across From me, smiling conspiratorially She is in full information gathering mode She remembers to this day what I ordered, not the most Expensive nor the least expensive Menu items, as someone being treated has a tendency to do, but Selections based on The nutrient content and healthiness of the meal Dark leafy greens, lean protein, only a bit of oil instead of heavy Calorie content dressing Beers, multiple, selection based on how well the brew recipe Paired taste-wise with the Food ordered While eating, her father attempted to pass the salt in my Direction after being handed It from Tommy, who had just immediately doused his large steak With the saline grains I told him, apparently in my default radio announcer voice, that I Never added seasoning To food until I had tasted it, my reasoning being that it was an Insult to the person Who had prepared it, in this case a paid professional Preparing a meal is an art form, and as an artist I recognize the Sweat and effort of The cook or chef The food is placed with purpose upon a plate, by another as a Finished product The last stage of producing art is the presentation to the Audience It is now up to the audience to appreciate the finished work To apply seasoning without tasting is an insult by an uncultured, Unaware, and unappreciative Person If modifications need to be applied after tasting to match an Individual's preferences Then so be it, it's their food Unbeknownst to me, the actual person who had prepared the Food, the actual head chef on Duty who obviously Tommy did not know at all, was standing Directly behind me when I said This He announced his presence and I was rewarded with a Complimentary meal including the beers Three beers most likely He would attempt over and over that week to catch me in acts of Verbal plagiarism or Insult me, only to always be bested by my quick and always razor Honed intellect I had already been practicing my craft for more than a decade by That point The coward even uttered a faggot in my direction as Prissy and I Left, under his breath, only To have my sharp ears pick it up So, spinning with overdramatic flair and facing the opponent as Always, I pointed out why That isn't an insult and a deed that I could never be insulted by Him, adding a well placed And accredited quotation by Tom Waits in French no less, much To the confusion of the attack And to the delight of Patricia I make memories man, I even blew Patty a kiss till we meet Again, which we would of course To backtrack a bit, when mischievous Patty locked me outside With the youngest sister Paula who I almost always sat next to on the school bus if I rode It, she never speaking To me, I had immediately postulated that since we were so Rudely confined all night To the expansive backyard that she and I had a duty to retaliate In kind and consume every Single beer, which we did, triumphantly Paula grew up to be a big girl and a voracious consumer of Alcohol, taking me up on the challenge She matched me beer for beer until they were all gone, a hundred And eight each in five Hours, that's one twelve ounce bottle of various brands every Five minutes, and at no time As mischievous Patty observed, mischievously, did I ever hit on Paula in any way Come morning we were in someone's car listening to her CD Collection, I inquiring about any I didn't recognize, I put in Ten Thousand Maniacs Our Time in Eden album, informing Her that I had all of their catalog on cassette, including the Earliest collected demos, much To her surprise I would continue to confound that woman over the coming Decades, upon daybreak Prissy returned And released us from the wall back that her younger sister and I Would have escaped in Someone's vehicle had we could in order to pursue more beer She had to go get her daily dose of methadone from a clinic Downtown Patty cringed as she threw the van keys as a softball pitcher Would, directly at my face As was our custom, and I, wearing the leather jacket my Grandmother had given me on my eighteenth Birthday a decade earlier, caught them without thinking or Flinching with a swooping downward Arm movement Prissy's dealers lived in the neighborhood behind the clinic She was into heroin and cocaine, and I was into her We went back to my house and I grabbed my guitar, always the Disposable emergency income And a Seymour Duncan JB pickup I had purchased new, but not Installed yet I pawned those and used the extra cash for more cocaine than the Planned amount, which I would divide into two nice-sized lines on the bathroom Countertop for Patty and myself Tommy, I was informed later, didn't want to share the baggie of Coke and meth mix he carried With us or her Ugh, how fucking uncool is that I guess Pam got some, ew I smile now, writing this, remembering Patty playing footsies With me under the table at Olive Garden, and again at Christmas a year or so later under her Grandmother's kitchen Table, with her grandmother and aunts sitting around us I customarily wear steel-toed boots, ankle high, but that day at Grandmother's I had Some cushy old man sandals my aunt had given me on, leaving My feet open this time to return The playful gestures As I tap, tap, tap this ad on my phone's screen in a friend's Apartment, it is 106 degrees Actual temperature outside I am the guy on the couch until my tax refund hits, and I can Return service of water and Power back to my house I am grateful, as always, for the continuously low number of People I call my friends My aunt has sent me $200 for a birthday nearly a month ago, Which hopefully has hit my mailbox And has not been stolen by my former houseguest who has my Spare keyring A hundred to the house for their hospitality and $55 to my Hotspot Any day now, dear IRS I know, take your time One week ago I created a new DeviantArt account as the Prophet Obblonge, and by the end of today Will have deluged the Deviants with around 250 separate posts One of which, the longest by far, has over 7,000 reads already The serialized horror story will be getting another chapter or Five very soon by invisible Demand I am humbled and honored by the response I have been commissioned by a friend to produce, edit, and Provide original music for her YouTube Channel, which means I'll have access to cameras for mine as Well My chosen domain name is for sale for $10.99 Three years of web hosting paid up front will cost about $500 Mayhaps soon Oblong Fucked Your Grandmother t-shirts will Be available No keychains, I'm not Metallica Fifty tracks of audio have been properly labeled and are ready for Upload to the Internet Archive And or YouTube and anywhere else I can st
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"Then And Now Lyrics." Lyrics.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 27 Apr. 2024. <https://www.lyrics.com/lyric-lf/13285096/The+Prophet+Obblonge/Then+And+Now>.
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