Dear Alcohol Pt. 3

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lee lewis

Lee Lewis is an Australian theatre director. more »

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I keep drinkin' 'til I'm someone I don't recognize
I got wasted

Ain't gotta turn on the lights, I take a shot in the dark
Goin' round after round to fill this hole in my heart
And I got nowhere to go, when it all falls down
Got nowhere to run, when it all runs out
Drownin' my sorrows with bottles
Too intoxicated for me to take the high road
Since the Whiskey came, I done lost my way
Lost myself in a drink

I got wasted 'cause I didn't wanna deal with myself tonight
My thoughts get drowned until I feel alright
I keep drinkin' 'til I'm someone I don't recognize
I got wasted

I can never ever live without it
The numbness and the pause that I get from it
I can never fall asleep with all that venisive
So many troubles and so much pain, I can't deal with it
I keep on drinking,
Depression
I don't wanna deal with myself
I got wasted

I got wasted 'cause I didn't wanna deal with myself tonight
My thoughts get drowned until I feel alright
I keep drinkin' 'til I'm someone I don't recognize
I got wasted

I'm passed out and it's like I'm in a war
Life is passing while I'm wasted on the floor
See I've been drowning in a life without no passion
Coping with this drink and I know it's tragic
I wanna feel real life
I want some real kisses, feel the real touch
Find a real Mrs. 'til the fog is gone
With God as my witness, I'ma sober up
I'ma sober up

I got wasted 'cause I didn't wanna deal with myself tonight
My thoughts get drowned until I feel alright (Oh-woah)
I keep drinkin' 'til I'm someone I don't recognize
(I'm five years sober so this comes from a really raw place, I hope this reaches someone that needs to here it - you're not alone)
I got wasted

You ever look back to a certain time and try to reminisce
And all you get is little flashes, a piece of the past
And as each year pass you start to realize that the only thing that last is the bottom of a glass
And your friendships' plastic
Oh well, that shit happens
But what about when you can't even make it through the day
And your hands start shaking, your girlfriend left
And your parents pray for your safety
Not just pray, but the type that would make even atheists' feel like it's something to faith
'Cause maybe only God knows what it takes
Maybe only I know how to break it
But I can't 'cause I'm caged in the shell of a man right now
I don't really wanna hear it
Hurt the people that are dearest
And it took my soul, that's why they call it Spirits

I got wasted 'cause I didn't wanna deal with myself tonight
My thoughts get drowned until I feel alright
I keep drinkin' 'til I'm someone I don't recognize
I got wasted

At fourteen I had my first OJ and Vodka and thought I was so G
But that quickly turned into poppin' these pills and mixing my drink with the codeine
But then I OD'd
I should've listened when they told me
Now when I drink, I get to sendin' you these messages just 'cause I'm lonely
And it ain't 'cause I'm wasted
It's because I'm lost
I need you to call
And I don't know no other way to take away the pain
I'm 'bout to fall

I got wasted 'cause I didn't wanna deal with myself tonight
My thoughts get drowned until I feel alright
I keep drinkin' 'til I'm someone I don't recognize (Yeah)
I got wasted (Woah, ayy)

And I'm taken by the drink and the ball too
Girl, I love the people tryna keep me off my vibe too
I ain't got a tattoo, but I wish I got two
Smuggle money out of a van, what about you?
And I'm talking 'bout the drink and the liquor
Tryna put my brain in a game damn figure
All I do is drink and drink and drink and think
Take like three, four, five in a day, ayy
I got a lot of problems, family problems, relationship problems
All I gotta do is just solve 'em
Everybody tryna get me all fucked up
Tryna do no drugs, so I fill my cup with the Hennessey
Put me on top, leave me up like I'm faraway
Call me on phone when I'm far away
Yeah, I'm runnin' from my problems
But I know one day I'll stop

I got wasted 'cause I didn't wanna deal with myself tonight
My thoughts get drowned until I feel alright
I keep drinkin' 'til I'm someone I don't recognize
I got wasted

It's a quick high, then a long low
And you call me tryna come home
But I can't be your only remedy
Tryna save you is gonna kill me
So write it down, put it in a song
Hope you pour it out
We'd all feel less alone
'Stead of getting wasted, waste your time making something real
You can turn your wasted to power, helping other people heal

I got wasted 'cause I didn't wanna deal with myself tonight (Yeah, mmm)
My thoughts get drowned until I feel alright (Oh-oh, mmm)
I keep drinkin' 'til I'm someone I don't recognize
I got wasted

I got wasted, shot, then I chased it
Wanted a taste, now it's my night that I'm wastin'
It's been happenin' more and more
Start with one and then I'm pourin' four
Now I'm stumblin' through the corridor
Crying out for anything except a level head
I've been fighting all these demons but the spirits put 'em right to bed
I know they'll find me when I feel the hangover
'Cause they don't hate the man I am until he's sober

I got wasted 'cause I didn't wanna deal with myself tonight (Oh)
My thoughts get drowned until I feel alright
I keep drinkin' 'til I'm someone I don't recognize
I got wasted

Just one more shot of whiskey then I'll put the bottle down
The warmth that it provides me is the best thing that I have found
And I know that it can't kill me 'cause I'm already dead
And I would do anything to drown these thoughts inside my head
I'm messed up, fucked up, and I only disappoint
My mental health doesn't give me much a choice
Drunk in the crowds, getting lost in all the noise
If someone screams and no one hears, do they even have a voice?

I got wasted 'cause I didn't wanna deal with myself tonight
My thoughts get drowned until I feel alright
I keep drinkin' 'til I'm someone I don't recognize
I got wasted

I spent half my life drinkin', other half over-thinkin
Blame it on a disposition and a family full of addiction
Some say it's already written
I guess the first step is admittin'
It's hard being sober and dealing with feelings but I ain't a quitter
I don't plan on quitting, yeah!
Half a bottle got me catching waves
Bring the loud, we gone cross fade
Used to buy into being an addict
Until I learned another way
I've been finding my balance
Lettin' go of my malice
Here's a toast to the challenge, yeah

I got wasted 'cause I didn't wanna deal with myself tonight
My thoughts get drowned until I feel alright
I keep drinkin' 'til I'm someone I don't recognize
I got wasted

Since you've been gone I've been sippin' into my sorrows
One last bottle then tomorrow I'll be sober, but I
I can't escape this hole that I've been diggin' in
All my demons fighting wars that I can't really win
I bite my tongue and hit the wall until I bleed
Trapped in my thoughts until it's hard for me to breathe
And I know it's hard for you to see but this liquor's got a hold on me

I got wasted 'cause I didn't wanna deal with myself tonight
My thoughts get drowned until I feel alright
I keep drinkin' 'til I'm someone I don't recognize
I got wasted

Look
I'm at the bottom of the bottle again
I be living through a life with a whole lot of sin
And I know I got a problem, I don't try to pretend
I be kicking it with Jack when I don't got a friend
I get wasted
Sippin' a beer, that's how I chase it
Go to the store and cop cases
When I get drunk, I do not pace it
I done blacked out on so many occasions
Even though it never feels good on the next day
I'ma still look forward to the next taste
Turning to the bottle when I really need to escape
Even thought I know it's probably leading to my death day
It's a vicious cycle that is genocidal
And it's taken friends and taken many idols
And I know that I really must stop if I wanna see the day that I'm sitting on top

I got wasted 'cause I didn't wanna deal with myself tonight
My thoughts get drowned until I feel alright
I keep drinkin' 'til I'm someone I don't recognize
I got wasted

Had to quit sippin' and get to the money
I'd ra

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