why can't you be a better friend?

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Kevin C.N.

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There used to be three of us
Gabriela, you and I
We wrote a friendship song in my house
Now you're being devious and mischievous
You flirted with a girl that I used to like
While you wished me the best of luck
Now she's sending me proof from Jogja
I bet you wanted me to find them out
In that study trip, I lent you my black hoodie
But now it's clear that you only were using me
And our friendship is now your worst crime
You're the source of my wasted time
Why can't you be a better friend?
Why'd you have to knife me on my wounded back?
We were once in a band, you were my best friend
Now you're just another disappointment
I need a better friend
You took my insecurities to the nearest gym
A guy who's masochistic
You described her type
Like you knew everything
I should've seen it from afar
Should've heard all the alarms
Instead of trying to fit in your "culture-specific" and narcissistic squad
You all took a trip to a beach
Months after you bullied me
Things that you said to me
They made me reduce what I used to eat
And it is so odd
A friend and a teacher that I lost to God
Two old friends of mine in Jakarta
Are still the better friends even now
On Chinese New Year, I always visit your house
F*ck, I miss when you didn't have to force your laugh
When we made a joke, but then you made me a joke
My kindness to you was an appetite for your ego
Why? Why? Why? Why?
Why can't you be a better friend?
Why'd you have to knife me on my wounded back?
Your motorcycle gang, it used to be my favorite place
Now you're the rust to the chain that we used to have
Why can't you be a better friend?
Why'd you make a hate account behind my back?
Those card games and the train that we used to take
In Germany, back when I used to believe what you said
But you're not a better friend
You're not a better friend
You're not a better
You're not a better
You're not a better friend, friend, friend
Distances caused the error in our friendship
Was it you? Or was it me?
You villainized me in your stories
But betrayed me in my stories
Which one to believe? You decide it
All I know is
(Anak Ketua Yayasan)
God made that swimming pool hot for you all to jump
Let it heat your skin up till you felt the karma
Of altering my good habits
Since that night on the balcony
Vapes and beers
That should've been my exit
But I let you dissect my sexuality
With your one-lensed broken microscopy
You know, I used to be in a dance team
But the boys said, "No girls will like it!"
No, they won't like it
Now I'm so far away
I can move my body without worrying
About losing my masculinity
If they don't like it, I can just f*ck me
I'll pay it if that's the price
If that's the price to be free
My veins still coughed up the old blood
As I screamed, "When are you going to apologize?"
"Can't you put your ego aside for once?"
Your birthday wish from Java is too devious
To patch up the old scars
Why can't you be a better friend?
Why'd you have to knife me on my wounded back?
Nobody wanted to be my friend
So I made you my go-to plan
Now you decide to end us
End us this way

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