I Aint Been the Same Since (Live)

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Like, I knew this day would come, but no matter how much I prepared for it, I still wasn't ready, you know
I just lost my grandma literally a couple days ago, and I've been crying ever since
So I wrote this song about both of my grannies hear me out

Raised in the queen city, from a queen's village
By some strong black women, that mean business
Two women gave birth to seventeen children
My two grannies, matriarchs of my family
That made me and raised me to what I am today
I'm grateful everyday for all the wisdom that you gave
For all that you done, I can never repay
I can never replace, and I can never erase
These memories out my head, they forever replay
So I hang on to your energy within me
You saw something in me that I didn't see initially
In myself, you taught me to believe in myself
I was ready for whatever, but never for your death
It's hard to accept, like why you had to go
Cause you brought balance to my soul
I remember sleeping with my cousins, making pallets on the floor
When I asked you to spend the night, and you never said no
I just wish my son got a chance to meet you
I know you're cheering for me loud from heaven's bleachers
I just hope to say you're proud when I see you

Cause I ain't been the same since my grandma died
Life ain't been the same since my grandma died
I'm traumatized, hurting deep inside
Can't sleep at night, but I'ma be alright

Yeah, grandma raised us in the projects
And made sure we were straight in the process
And I know they say that grief is a process
Always had something to eat for dinner, lunch, and breakfast
313 E, GWC
And my cousins, they was like sisters and brothers to me
And my cousins got in trouble with me
Had to break the switch off the tree and take it like a G
And Big Ma played bingo, Florence used to hit the club
Big Ma couldn't drive, so Florence would always pick us up
No matter what, they always had room for us
And gave us number unconditional love and life lessons
Florence was a Selma High legend
And Big Ma was a civil rights legend
You can see a mix of both in my reflection
And they always gave me love and protection
I'm doing good, but I'm coping with depression
Y'all the reasons why I vote in elections
Got y'all tatted on my arm forever
And I just pray that the family come together

Cause I ain't been the same since my grandma died
Life ain't been the same since my grandma died
I'm traumatized, hurting deep inside
Can't sleep at night, but I'ma be alright

I'ma be alright

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