Queer Christian (Meditation)

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Jafari Jeter

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Queer Christian Conversation /cffirmation 



If I can be honest for a moment, 
On My journey to self love, 
I encountered pot holes, speed bumps, delays, ditches.
So many mental hinderances blocking me from being able to see my true worth. 

My biggest up hill battle was embracing my sexuality. Sometimes I feel like I was taught an oxymoron. On one hand, I was taught that everything about me was worth loving. 
On the other hand, I was taught that I was an abomination. I learned very early how to play a role that was good and acceptable. Hoping that maybe one day, God would see me as such. But no matter what I did I never felt like it was enough. No matter how many prayers, no matter how many times I fasted no matter how many souls I lead to Christ my good deeds just never seemed to measure up. cnd that is where many Christians have told me it is not about your good deeds, but about your heart. They said that God looks at the heart of man. cnd when I looked at my heart, I saw it's fragility and it's desperate need and desire to be loved and excepted by God. So I questioned what was so wrong with me that even with a pure desire for connection for God...there was conditional accepted based on affinities that I never asked for? This piece of doctrine of God‘s conditional acceptance due to my sexuality continued to drive a wedge in my heart. 

One day I decided to go on a journey. This journey wasnt about becoming less gay in more straight. It wasn't about doing good deeds. It was about understanding the god did I say that I believed. The biggest question that sit on my heart was, do you really know God for yourself? 

In this moment I chose to set aside the template that was given to me by the church, and start with a blank canvas, asking God to show me who I am, and the God I am connected to. I became so open with God that I didn't care about whether being queer was a sin or not I just needed to understand who it was, that I have been proclaiming all these years and hope to see myself in the mist of that proclamation.

Little did, I know I discover something that was so much bigger than my sexuality. I saw myself when I just started to seek God for myself. ct the intersection of so many things that I grew up believing was second class or not God's best I found the epitome of God‘s love.

For those listening, my desire is not to lead you to be straight, or to be queer is to lead you to find freedom for yourself. These affirmations are for those who are on a journey of freedom. For those who have questioned if they could be loved by God.  say this affirmations when you need them most.


I am worthy of acceptance and love
I accept all of me and I give grace to the parts I don't fully understand
I am seen and loved by God just as I am today 
I won't allow others to define God for me...I will seek God for myself
I don't have to fear what other ppl think, Their opinions don't pay my bills or add to my well-being. 
My sexuality is a personal journey between me and God, I don't owe an explanation or justification to anyone 
I will live my life from a space of love 
I am creating a safe space for all aspects of who I am 
I give myself room and grace to grow 
I love myself for who I am today, and I embrace who I will become in the future 
I am intentional about finding God for myself
God is big inside of me, I will no longer minimize myself out of fear of opinions.

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