From you to me

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Chanaaa

2:30

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The roles that women play have been
Very concrete to see
Especially in relationships in my culture
It shows that when a woman is Struggling
We use prayer and reinforcement to guide her
But when a man is struggling, he prays
For strong women to be beside him
I talk about this because all my life, I
was provided, fed, clothed, and bathed
By strong women alone ,my mother
She found a way to stretch a 20 into
Groceries and pillow sheets
While I lay in the bed with my sister
This experience alone has stayed with Me because I was shown
To be resourceful, to be tough, and grateful
But I was never shown how to be
Respected, to be nurtured
And to be held
I can't tell you an example of where
Being strong was rewarded
With a day off
When the soles of your feet didn't ache
And the work continued
With a cough
I began to grow tired as she did
Of being angry and used
I was a sponge
Soaking all of her experiences, her Frustration, her resentment
That she couldn't continue
She had no choice
But I do
I grew up seeing the world through her eyes
Cautious of another's point of view
Scared to fall victim too to the men she
Knew
So I wore her fears like shoes and
Walked down the avenue to
The store with only a cheek to chew
I felt safe in what was familiar
So I portrayed a tough exterior
So people can't see my interior
I called it balancing
It was an act I knew very well
I put myself in this shell of comfort
And relieve me of any risk of
Disappointment
Missing opportunities for enjoyment
Because fear became my
Atonement
It wasn't until I fell in love that I knew
That love wasn't shambles nor chains
To break through.
It wasn't about dominance or being
Right
But loving one another without
Judgment and spite
To trust within them that they truly
Loved me
And not what I can give them in
Return
That was the lesson to learn
To forgive me for not being strong
Enough when I was not treated well
That was not my story to tell
And that hate is a feeling so vile to
Keep inside.
That it needs to be released to live
Again
Because the pain was the root in
Disguise that forced hurt to
Stay in past tense
To the mothers with no love
Protection, or an ear. Your
Experiences do not make you who you
Are
For your heart has
Space to create a new love for as long
As you tend to your scars

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