Still Dreaming...

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Feeding Pigeonz

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Taking shots in the dark no flashlight
Trying to write my story with no graphite
Tried sobriety but couldn't do that right
Feelings of anesthesia are coming back I'm
Still dreaming still blind
I'm still dreaming
Can't put the past behind me with no hindsight
Can't look to the future with no foresight
Still dreaming still blind
Yeah I'm still blind
'Cause there ain't no bliss in my ignorance
Feel like I missed the good shit from my innocence
When everything is leaving in front of my eyes
I realize this freedom I had was a lie
A momentary release from my real life
I can't delete the feelings that's up in my mind
This ain't no hard drive
Can't reset the time
Don't wanna draw the line
Between holding on to the climb and letting go of falling behind
But I could've avoided it with sight
And now I'm realizing the meaning of growing up
As a child idealizing of dreaming glowing up
'Till my hopes and theorizing turn seeing to closing up
All this time my real vice it was thinking I know enough
I wish I listened when my parents told me it would be this distant from my vision
'Fore I shut my lids and let my lips dismiss the shit I thought I figured out but didn't
When things don't go my way
They say that it will
And when it does
They say nothing will happen
But when it happens
They say nothing
Still trapped in the past
Still can't let it pass
Staying still in a maze
Still self deprecate
Been blind to my pain
Blind blind as a bat
Using blindness for shade
Driving blind through a race
Still can't pick a lane
Still looking back
Still too blind to change
Still trying to wake
Dreaming the same
Dream of guilt that I have
If a dream's only fake then why do my
Dreams affect my reality
And peace it seems like a fallacy
I'm balancing the weight of the world while I'm battling
Internally eternally but personally
The thing is that I'm learning to accept that people change
And step in a next direction to amend their past but not me
'Cause when I open my eyes I'm still dreaming
Still Dreaming still blind
I'm still dreaming
Can't put the past behind me with no hindsight
Can't look to the future with no foresight
Still dreaming still blind
Yeah I'm still blind
'Cause in this mentopolis I'm a citizen
I'm building now for the promise of the infinite
When everyone is bleeding in front of my eyes
I realize these changes I made were a lie
A momentary relapse from my real life
I can't lead the blind if I'm dreaming while blind
It's true that everything in life is temporary
The happiness the pain the losses the gains
How could I not assume things will leave me all the same
When I've always been scared to fall awake
I was pointlessly anointing these nonexistent ointments
On the wounds of my favorite voices
So boisterous all my choices are poisons begetting poisons
Rejoicing in disappointments bestowed upon the exploited
The people that I disjointed from my life that I been avoiding
I'm tired of rinse repeating to save something since deleted
So tired of different meanings for with-dealing the same shit that I been feeling
So tired of misconceiving the emotions I keep retrieving
Intended only for healing
And turning them into reasons to stay blind and be still dreaming
Still dreaming still blind
Thought I resolved this already
Still dreaming still blind
But I never actually reawakened
Still dreaming still blind
Still dreaming
Still still still dreaming
Still still still dreaming
Still dreaming still blind
Still dreaming
Still still still dreaming
Still still still dreaming
Where do these problems stem from
And how do they branch out
Maybe it's all a part of my family tree
Or maybe I'm the start of the sprout
'Cause lately I've been foraging through a dark forest
In the opposite direction of forward
And no foreword could've warned me for the next four words
I heard and learned to accept
It's all on me
I'm on the reflective side of a two-way mirror
Watching myself destroy the things around me
Almost powerless to stop it
Until I started to open my eyes
And now I'm not dreaming anymore
I'm not blind anymore
I'm not dreaming anymore
I'm not blind anymore
I'm not dreaming anymore
I'm not blind anymore
I'm not dreaming anymore
I'm not blind anymore

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