Ghosts

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My Eyes Are Open

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The first day you were gone, I was lost and I’ve barely slept.
I haven't had the courage to look through all your old things yet,
To see where you left off, where your life was cut short,
And gather together everything you still had to live for.

 When I get home, I'm chasing ghosts in the halls and trying my best to keep up.
The phone has long gone silent and the ringing in my ears still hasn't stopped.
Every night I lie awake,
Thinking of every person I couldn't save,
Because how can anywhere feel like home when there's no one to come home to?

You are there in car windows when they pass by,
Your face painted onto strangers out of the corner of my eye.
Everything I see are reminders of you here inside,
This house pouring out echoes of you and when you were alive.

When I get home, I'm chasing ghosts in the halls and trying my best to keep up.
Everyone I used to know are waiting for their families underneath the hydrangeas.
Every night I lie awake,
Thinking of every person I couldn't save, 
Because how can anywhere feel like home when there's no one to come home to?

 I miss sitting with you and saying nothing,
When no words were needed for company.
The most sincere I love you's are felt in silence,
Just being in your presence was comforting.
But now it's cold and my lungs feel smothered,
Like all the nights I tossed and turned, knowing you'd never recover.
I miss you so much.
I miss you with every fiber pulling and tearing in me.

Old pictures are the last of you, fading from sunlight.
Only absence fills these open rooms, there is stillness where there was life.
This time you’re not here to hold me up when I collapse,
And sink into the floorboards and bury myself in my relapse.

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