Car Boot Sale
ARES XXII
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It's a lazy Sunday afternoon I'm in my Fiat punto heading to the car boot Don't know what I want to buy, probably nothing But there's a couple car boots that I'm itching to rummage Two quid in my back pocket who knows what I'll spend it on A well-used telescope or maybe even Tron On DVD, because I've never seen it But I've heard it's pretty shit so I dont know what I'm missing Pulled up in the car park the place was packed Bloke in the burger van, was fucking stacked Locked the car door, had to click a few times Cause my key's fucked, happens all the time So I strolled on down to the car boot sale Saw a book about kale, but I don't like kale Saw a book for the blind but I don't read braille Why's there so many books in this car boot sale Realised this place backs onto a library Book club showed up now it's getting lively They got lemonade and they're selling it quick And I've got a dry mouth so I go for a sip She said five quid I said can you repeat that I'm not paying that much I'm just giving you feedback Now lower that price or I'm cracking your kneecaps And twisting those wrists till I'm giving you heat rash They said calm down I can do you a discount I said that's fine, what kind of a discount They said two quid, well that's all that I've got Can you do it for free, or you gunna get shot At this point now I just feel like a prick So I walk off calm with my gun on my hip When I say I've got a strap, yeah I mean a nerf gun Foam dart to your head yeah I'm that kind of person Don't give a f*ck if you're left with a suction mark I got two CS-10's pointed at your heart If you get on my nerves then the party starts Death by nerf gun written on the casket Didn't want to but I had to blast it Feel no remorse, left the crime scene laughing Stopped in my track and realised my mistake I got no lemonade and I'm still gasping I'm stressed out now and the dogs are barking Saw a pug in the mix so I had to spark him He did a front flip and I can't stop laughing As I fall to my knees where the cars are parking I realise now I'm the car boot target for slapping that dog half way across the market I see an angry mob, well I hear them marching And they're led by a man with a middle parting I rub my eyes, is that leonardo Put my glasses on, it wasn't leonardo To my surprise he's in a leotard though Saw a dragon with a beard and her name was Margo The mob is pissed and they're pushing me out They won't listen to a word coming out of my mouth And I don't really know what they're chatting about because the pug deserved to get a little smack in the snout Anyway, I guess I'll take the L And with that I strolled out of the car boot sale Will I pay for my crimes, only time will tell In the mean time, the pug punisher prevails Sat down in the car and I hit the gas Naught to sixty in a minute I don't want to crash Got the sat nav going and it's on the dash I live with my mum but driving to my dads I looked behind me and the mob was there They were catching up quick, to my despair Put my foot down and sunk in my chair Thirty one in a thirty, I don't care I got back home, and in my room I stepped I couldn't get the picture of that pug out my head The room went quiet, all I heard was breath And as I looked down the pug was there under my bed
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"Car Boot Sale Lyrics." Lyrics.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 8 May 2024. <https://www.lyrics.com/lyric-lf/11710191/ARES+XXII/Car+Boot+Sale>.
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