Why Do I Miss You?
Krystal Evette
Watch: New Singing Lesson Videos Can Make Anyone A Great Singer
Recovery is an ugly thing It is inconsistent and it is not linear Something that you will be working on For the rest of your life There's ups and downs But recently, for me, there's been a lot of downs This ugly is a side I don't show to people It's a part of recovery that most people in my life don't understand But, it's a very real part that not a lot of people talk about To truly work through it, I need to say it out loud and I need to ask the question Why do I miss you? It's 4am and I'm sitting in my car again Chain smoking these cigarettes thinking of the time back then You'd always flip the lucky and you'd pick the same first every time I lost all my direction and you'd always point towards finding rhyme I met you smoking Traffics but you switched to Newport 100s when The only store that carried them was forty north of home you left I barely had the keys before you'd take the spot right next to me The mattress everybody said they'd never gotten better sleep To speak of sleep, I don't get much of any sound, you haunt my dreams As I drift off i pray to god tonight's the night he's taking me I lose a piece of me every morning that i see the sun Contrast for my thoughts, plagued by demons, I'm the only one Left any chance of normal when I met you wearing grippy socks I'd go back, build a safe around my lips, put feelings under lock Kinda wish I stayed with wasted condoms guy, things would have been Okay cuz paper cuts are paper cuts, now jaws of life could never mend The damage I did to myself, cost me relationships but not my life Took half my medications by the fist full, why'd I drop the knife Picked up, dragged up the stairs and then was strapped into the ambulance For once I started to fear death when I could barely move my hands Thought I'd never gamble with my life again, but hold the dice Trace my finger on the indents, lost the value of my life Even though you're toxic and you held me hostage with your words I sometimes miss the times you'd ice the wounds of your harshest burns The times you'd treat me like the royalty that you'd want by your side With your reign, us against the world, now in your dungeon I reside Branded as a traitor, serving a life sentence, no parole Along with all degenerates who you've allowed to see your soul Said I'd never leave, the ones who did, the scum beneath my feet But, threw my hands up, can't take anymore, I'm farther underneath Did the sever ever sting you, was I just a conquered quest Once I left, I cleared the way for the weak heart you'd prey on next That's the worst part of it all, what's care, what's manipulation? Renders any closure, therapy can't kick-start new creations Can't hear any song that we ever sang along to Even if the music's mine or something, "hey, I have to show you" Every time I hear a note, it could throw me off the edge It reminds me of the plans and secrets, the promises that we pledged Moved to the town I've lived in since my birthday candles counted four If I only knew each waking day with you would be a war No matter what you threatened me or anyone, I wasn't scared No matter if they'd scold me for it, can't pretend I still don't care Your mom said we were soulmates, couldn't see a reason how we weren't One year later, now you're gone, that thought to me, it still feels current Won't take back a single word when describing hurt you caused I could form the thickest cast, but wounds still lie under the gauze On nights like these, I wonder had I shut my mouth, would things be different? Made my bed and can't go back, but sometimes still consider it It turns my gut imagining your mom's face if you mention me Or if my name's a filthy word you both decided not to speak Once saw me as one of her own but probably curses my existence Now just someone wronging you, she'd break my bones with no resistance Don't show mercy, I'm guilty, deserve to burn for all I've done The people in my life tell me "you got away, you finally won" They don't quite understand, so I mute my words and down my dose I question why I feel this way, but honestly don't think I'll ever know
Watch: New Singing Lesson Videos Can Make Anyone A Great Singer
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"Why Do I Miss You? Lyrics." Lyrics.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 30 Apr. 2024. <https://www.lyrics.com/lyric-lf/11614057/Krystal+Evette/Why+Do+I+Miss+You%3F>.
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