Rendezvous
A.I.
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You learn a lot in four years but I'm still here Waiting for the bus Know my troubles ain't enough when I'm sitting on em I know the world gives you struggles so you grow from em But workin' overtime rough I need a break from it Depressions got an eager grasp on my weary eyes I see the picture clearer when I'm drinking all night Know I'm in danger when I'm thinkin' with the wrong mind If there's an issue please tell me so I act right It's a battlefield comin' and I March without running Nothin really gives me joy these days Don't give a f*ck if it's my last these days I'm fantasizing bout a crash with no pain You pick your poisons when you play the love game I saw it comin' but I can't predict the weather So I didn't have a jacket for the rain Spelling out my own name feels weird when it's been this much change I don't hold grudges but this old budget for faithful trust is in shambles Experience in interactions I can't do I'm serious when I give info I'm careful My theory met with reality and it fell through I'm tearing up on the balcony and I can't move My limbs weak I try to fake what I can't do I won't eat cause I don't value my health now My mind's crippled with self-doubt and riddled with drugs now Seen my own cousin get neglected for that shit It's easier to vent about this stuff when I'm rappin' I wanna feel protected but I'm left with my head down Killin my lungs on the porch side It's a bitter winter and a cold night I had the chance to be a winner and I torched my prize This life is withering I see an empty look in my eyes I lack a lot of energy to go and get realigned But I kept myself lucid I was readin' the signs I'm less affected by the threats that put my pulse on a line And to my dearest, I apologize for breaking the ties It's nothin' personal I found a new identity in a past life I'm distant from it cause I'm closer with this jackknife I watched the leaves grow green until they withered to ash And drifted back to the ground to feed a new story No longer keep a bold interest for passion I led my mission and crashed Just use my soul to fuel the next journey I give and take what I can But I've no interest for plans I'm lettin fate steer my vessel wherever feels fair Stuck in a pit of despair I raised my hands to the air And held on to anything that ever reached for em I found myself in a happier place Long nights on the phone building myself a new home Intrusive thoughts started fading away, I woke up dreaming of tomorrow instead of dreading today And it was yes yes yes to every offer I got It's not the best way to live but shit it helped me a lot But self-doubt don't wait for you to prep for it I couldn't see that all my actions kept my hell dormant I had a pretty loose grip on what I wanted in life And when I thought I had made it you kicked the dirt in my eye And left me traumatized I banked a lot on a figment of imagination hoping for the environment that I could feel was less complacent My deepest goals and ambitions got left adjacent With a soul that don't want no business with me or mines
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"Rendezvous Lyrics." Lyrics.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 7 May 2024. <https://www.lyrics.com/lyric-lf/11609933/A.I./Rendezvous>.
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