Searching For Happiness

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Adem 細龍

4:17

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Lately I've been playing hide and seek with my ambition
He must've found the perfect spot cuz every time he's winning
The pen used to give me a rush of adrenaline but
Nothing I've written can give me the same feeling cuz

I've been feeling like
I ain't good enough
I've been feeling like
I ain't doing much
Isn't it funny that I'm here doing nothing but complaining bout doing nothing, like who am I to fuss?

I take my words back
Time has gone by so fast
Centuries shrank, and now I'm left with these fragments of time in my two hands
Tryna put the pieces back but let's be honest, who can?
There ain't no time machine that can take you back

I wish I did more with my time, but I hardly
Tried, I don't believe in myself, yeah I'm sorry
Do I make songs to show off or is it a genuine hobby?
Do I write to numb myself from all this pain? Prolly

Feel like I'm too distant from my friends
Late night chats felt like talking to strangers in my bed
They might ask me why I've been feeling down, you wanna vent now?
Truth is when I'm with the people I love, I feel too left out

And when I'm on the phone, I'm in a different dimension
Wake up to stories, my life was all defined by a mention
Old me would love the attention, but now it's making me give in
So if you see me, I might not initiate conversations
Cuz my mouth is ripped out, I don't know how to interact
People think that I'm fine but they don't see my world collapse
Forcing words to the surface, the rest all behind a mask
I keep em hidden in exchange for a couple of tracks

Put on my earphones, the faces around me blur and vanish
I load the beat up and say things I prolly wouldn't
Say out loud, I guess I'm meant to be in solitude, and
Make em proud, wrote a couple songs so I could prove it

Too many times have I thought I was out of my mind and useless
I told him these bars would get me to somewhere one day, was clueless
I even used to film videos to make people happy
It felt good when everybody was laughing at me
And look who I neglected
I finally know it
I'm the one who took happiness away from myself, yeah I'm the culprit
No wonder why I go to school every day, drowning in textbooks
Disregarding the clock hands, writing inept hooks

Everybody feeling way too depressed
All the smiles, all the laughter, they been lost in the depths
True identities stolen, thrown into duffel bags
It finally dawned on me, ain't we all committed theft? Yeah
Ain't we all committed theft?
If only I learned to breathe, maybe happiness would be all that's left
Ain't we all committed theft?

Everybody need a little bit of joy in they life
And I been searching
All the little things in life feel good
But in the end I'm still hurting
I'm hurting to the point that I can't even find my purpose
All I do is lay down on my bed and let my thoughts resurface
And I been searching
For the lost bag
I been searching
For the lost laughs
We've been searching
We've been searching
We've been searching

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