HERSTORY

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RAHIMAH

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If I tell you my story, would you look at me differently
Would you think I was crazy, or would you have pity on me
I'm just wondering
Cause, what I'm about to tell you might leave your mind boggling
But hold your pity, let me do this quickly
Didn't know I existed until I was
Three years old when I gained my first traumatic memory
Teacher decked me in the jaw, had me leaking on the floor
I was four and five started getting beat with belts and cords, had to go to war
Six years old, learned to braid in prison cause moms couldn't stand to be alone
I was seven when I realized I was different from the other kids
I had rage issues, taken to the hospital
Eight years old, kicked out of school and I was diagnosed with ADHD
I was nine when these idiots put me with the special kids
It kind of baffled me cause I was smart as f*ck like
It fucked up my mental and it made me antisocial
I was confused, didn't know what was going on
I just know that wasn't where I belonged
Ten years old, almost stabbed a kid to death
The only thing that stopped me from plunging those scissors through his chest
Was a lady's quick hand, blacked out fast, can't remember the rest
Eleven, Grandma went to heaven
My first and last funeral
Thought I was numb or heartless, no emotions found
I didn't cry until they lowered her into the ground
Twelve, Been in so many fights I lost count
Even got into with the homies, I saw red, hopped a fence, to beat them up
The way I acted still blows me, who could control me
Suspended so many damn times
Therapy sessions ain't make me calm
Got sent to juvie school, was a ticking time bomb
At thirteen, got kicked out by my own damn moms
She picked her husbands over us, did this daily
Went to live with pops then I got arrested
My last fight was in high school, fourteen, beat the brakes off this kid
Then my mom's husband tried to step to me
He must've thought I was pussy
Cause word to moms, slapped his glasses off his face
Like nigga stop playing with me
Fifteen, fought another one of mom's husband
He was beating on her, and I just couldn't take it
Oh you thought my mom was ballistic, well say hello to her youngest kid
Sixteen and seventeen were kinda a blur
Husbands in and out, fights after fights, cases and cops, so much hurt
Games and arts were my escape, that's where I lost and found me
Eighteen, fought my mom for the first time, went off to the military
Ain't going to lie I was depressed, couldn't get things off my chest
Turned into an alcoholic
Used to go to work drunk, didn't give a f*ck
All I wanted was my mother fucking freedom
Couldn't have that so I'd drown my sorrows in drink and games
Couldn't wait for my four years to be done
Despite all the shit I been through, I know for a fact it would've broke many
But f*ck I look like giving up now, feel me
That shit is in the past, I can't change that but it made me who I am today
So let me introduce you to the new me
R, Resilient, from any situation I adapt and recover quickly
A, Ambitious, never give up, I got a strong desire to win and succeed
H, I'm honest, cause what the f*ck I got to lie for, huh
I, Intelligent, lyrically hit you with the puns and triple entendres
M, Magnetic, I got good energy and I attract others
A, Agile, I'm quick and fast sort of like a cheetah
H, Humorous, I got a dark sense of humor
So twisted and demented like her story
But at the end of the day that's my story
And I will succeed

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